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Hello Kat9, I don't believe I saw your post before now. The people here are in similar situations as Copa said. We are a supportive group. The parents here have dealt with their children's issues for many years, it is exhausting. Once adults, the issues seem to continue or worsen. We reach a time of recognition that what we might do actually no longer helps.  We need to take care of ourselves. How old are your grand children? Someone is likely to call DCF for your grandchildren's well being. This would probably be the best thing-if the two kids could get into some specialized care. But this is not for you to solve. We're here and we hear you!