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General Parenting
Why Do difficult children Get So Many Chances?
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 349945" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>I am a bit aggravated today. Nothing earth-shattering...nothing new.</p><p> </p><p>But it's report card time again. And our schools have implemented a system where parents can monitor their child's grades throughout the year. I have been watching difficult child's grades, and I can't tell you how many assignments (especially homework) are ZEROES. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero.</p><p> </p><p>I have been in contact with the teachers, who tell me that it is not that difficult child is having trouble with the work, she just refuses to do it. </p><p> </p><p>And now here we are at report card week--and suddenly all of these teachers are giving difficult child extra points for this and that. Math class, in which she has more zeroes than any other class and has been maintaining a 50% average--the teacher awarded her BONUS POINTS for great class participation and effort. WHAT???</p><p> </p><p>Science class, in which difficult child has been a solid D student--the teacher awarded BONUS POINTS for effort and DROPPED a bunch of missing assignments. So the things that were required of other students, are just not required for difficult child. She now has an A. What???</p><p> </p><p>So why must I go to meetings? And get letters about how my kid is not doing well? And asked to drive my child to tutoring? And told to encourage my child with homework? And attend teacher conferences? and yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda--</p><p> </p><p>when the end result is that difficult child seems like a nice kid, so we decided to give her a break. Another chance....</p><p> </p><p>Breaking the rules? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>Skipping classes? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>Caught in a lie? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>Refuses to do the work? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>"Forgot" about the project? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>Doesn't follow instructions? O she gets another chance...</p><p> </p><p>So difficult child earns "A"s...</p><p> </p><p>While my DS, who doesn't get all the chances...who does all the work....who follows the rules....who spends extra time on projects...who does extra credit...who goes the extra mile. He has earned all "B"s on his report card.</p><p> </p><p>AND DS was sent to the principal's office for using bad language on the bus. The school just cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. No second chance for him.</p><p> </p><p>It just doesn't seem fair...</p><p> </p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 349945, member: 6546"] I am a bit aggravated today. Nothing earth-shattering...nothing new. But it's report card time again. And our schools have implemented a system where parents can monitor their child's grades throughout the year. I have been watching difficult child's grades, and I can't tell you how many assignments (especially homework) are ZEROES. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. I have been in contact with the teachers, who tell me that it is not that difficult child is having trouble with the work, she just refuses to do it. And now here we are at report card week--and suddenly all of these teachers are giving difficult child extra points for this and that. Math class, in which she has more zeroes than any other class and has been maintaining a 50% average--the teacher awarded her BONUS POINTS for great class participation and effort. WHAT??? Science class, in which difficult child has been a solid D student--the teacher awarded BONUS POINTS for effort and DROPPED a bunch of missing assignments. So the things that were required of other students, are just not required for difficult child. She now has an A. What??? So why must I go to meetings? And get letters about how my kid is not doing well? And asked to drive my child to tutoring? And told to encourage my child with homework? And attend teacher conferences? and yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda-- when the end result is that difficult child seems like a nice kid, so we decided to give her a break. Another chance.... Breaking the rules? O she gets another chance... Skipping classes? O she gets another chance... Caught in a lie? O she gets another chance... Refuses to do the work? O she gets another chance... "Forgot" about the project? O she gets another chance... Doesn't follow instructions? O she gets another chance... So difficult child earns "A"s... While my DS, who doesn't get all the chances...who does all the work....who follows the rules....who spends extra time on projects...who does extra credit...who goes the extra mile. He has earned all "B"s on his report card. AND DS was sent to the principal's office for using bad language on the bus. The school just cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. No second chance for him. It just doesn't seem fair... :frowny: [/QUOTE]
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