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General Parenting
Why Do difficult children Get So Many Chances?
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 349953" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>I get the feeling that, with a lot of our difficult children, people think something along the lines of "This kid has so many struggles, it's just not fair that he should be failing school too. I'll just bend the rules a bit and give him a break <em>this one time</em>."</p><p></p><p>Of course, they don't realize that all of his life, people have been bending the rules for difficult child "just one time", and he's only the last in a list. It allows the person (teacher, therapist or whoever) to feel good, that they've contributed to difficult child's success. However, it does nothing to address the difficult child's underlying issues, and it teaches awfully bad lessons such as Turn on the Charm and You WILL Get Your Way. Ultimately, people just want to be nice. But they don't realize the harm they are causing by doing so.</p><p></p><p>We realized years ago with my difficult child 1 that cutting him any slack on anything does so much damage that it's not worth considering. He is completely binary. A rule is either all on or all off. If it's a little bit off, then it disappears completely. </p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 349953, member: 3907"] I get the feeling that, with a lot of our difficult children, people think something along the lines of "This kid has so many struggles, it's just not fair that he should be failing school too. I'll just bend the rules a bit and give him a break [I]this one time[/I]." Of course, they don't realize that all of his life, people have been bending the rules for difficult child "just one time", and he's only the last in a list. It allows the person (teacher, therapist or whoever) to feel good, that they've contributed to difficult child's success. However, it does nothing to address the difficult child's underlying issues, and it teaches awfully bad lessons such as Turn on the Charm and You WILL Get Your Way. Ultimately, people just want to be nice. But they don't realize the harm they are causing by doing so. We realized years ago with my difficult child 1 that cutting him any slack on anything does so much damage that it's not worth considering. He is completely binary. A rule is either all on or all off. If it's a little bit off, then it disappears completely. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Why Do difficult children Get So Many Chances?
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