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General Parenting
Why Do difficult children Get So Many Chances?
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 350125" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Janet--</p><p> </p><p>I wish these experiences were unusual...</p><p> </p><p>When I was growing up there was a kid in my neighborhood--he <em>seemed</em> like a nice boy--except that he had this habit of stealing from all the neighbors. Little stuff like garden tools, fishing poles, pool toys...nothing really valuable. And each and every time he took something, his mother would take it away from him. If she knew who the owner was, she would alert them, but otherwise she would wait until a neighbor came to ask whether the boy might have taken their tacklebox or ballpeen hammer or beach ball or whatever. And each and every time the mother would return the item with an apology and she would ask if the neighbor wanted to press charges--she even offered to call the police herself! And over and over and over again, the neighbors would say what a nice boy he was--and how they didn't want to see him get into any trouble--and yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda...</p><p> </p><p>Well, the word in the neighborhood was that this was a nice boy with a whack-job for a mother. After all--what kind of mother would <em>offer</em> to call the police on her own child???? What parent would encourage you to press charges???? O truly she was nuts!!! And that poor boy seemed like such a nice kid...he probably just needed someone to give him a chance.</p><p> </p><p>(Is this beginning to sound familiar to anyone?)</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, that "nice boy" got together with a few of his "nice boy" friends and they stole some cars from a local dealership. At that point, pressing charges was not even a question. That "nice boy's" first offense was multiple counts of Grand Theft and he was sent to big-boy jail for three years.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, the talk in the neighborhood was that the boy's mother really should have done something to straighten that kid out. He's a "no-good punk"... And he obviously was not brought up right.</p><p> </p><p>At the time, I really didn't pay too much attention....I was just a kid myself. but these days, I find myself thinking about that woman a lot. She did everything to try and teach him when it was petty, small stuff....and nothing was working. And in the end, she got blamed for being this terrible parent anyway. </p><p> </p><p> I know that's how many of difficult child's teachers have viewed me over the years--as this crazy mother who is being waaaayyy too hard on her kid. The poor child just needs a break....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 350125, member: 6546"] Janet-- I wish these experiences were unusual... When I was growing up there was a kid in my neighborhood--he [I]seemed[/I] like a nice boy--except that he had this habit of stealing from all the neighbors. Little stuff like garden tools, fishing poles, pool toys...nothing really valuable. And each and every time he took something, his mother would take it away from him. If she knew who the owner was, she would alert them, but otherwise she would wait until a neighbor came to ask whether the boy might have taken their tacklebox or ballpeen hammer or beach ball or whatever. And each and every time the mother would return the item with an apology and she would ask if the neighbor wanted to press charges--she even offered to call the police herself! And over and over and over again, the neighbors would say what a nice boy he was--and how they didn't want to see him get into any trouble--and yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda... Well, the word in the neighborhood was that this was a nice boy with a whack-job for a mother. After all--what kind of mother would [I]offer[/I] to call the police on her own child???? What parent would encourage you to press charges???? O truly she was nuts!!! And that poor boy seemed like such a nice kid...he probably just needed someone to give him a chance. (Is this beginning to sound familiar to anyone?) Eventually, that "nice boy" got together with a few of his "nice boy" friends and they stole some cars from a local dealership. At that point, pressing charges was not even a question. That "nice boy's" first offense was multiple counts of Grand Theft and he was sent to big-boy jail for three years. Of course, the talk in the neighborhood was that the boy's mother really should have done something to straighten that kid out. He's a "no-good punk"... And he obviously was not brought up right. At the time, I really didn't pay too much attention....I was just a kid myself. but these days, I find myself thinking about that woman a lot. She did everything to try and teach him when it was petty, small stuff....and nothing was working. And in the end, she got blamed for being this terrible parent anyway. I know that's how many of difficult child's teachers have viewed me over the years--as this crazy mother who is being waaaayyy too hard on her kid. The poor child just needs a break.... [/QUOTE]
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