Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why do I have swings in levels of hope for my son? Is this the fate of CD parents?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Otto von Bismark" data-source="post: 502676" data-attributes="member: 12905"><p>My son has CD. He has history of killing animals, lying, pretending to "not know" in order to get out of trouble or explain away rules he is breaking. He also has deviant sexual history. He is only 13. He also is on autism spectrum, so some have said that autism is getting in the way of him understanding things -- and getting in the way of proper testing. This is all new for us, for the most part, since he hid a lot of it until the past September. We thought it was autism spectrum alone.</p><p></p><p>His last testing showed borderline IQ, which I know people here have so kindly addressed. He also is extremely sensitive to medications. Goes to special school that is wonderful. Okay, background is out of the way.</p><p></p><p>So, we try a new medication -- Intuniv. We have completed 3 days. On his first two days on it, he came home from school and reported that he had "his best days ever." He got all his work done. He felt better. He was a wonderful student who respected his teacher. He was nice to other kids. He felt hopeful, but very tired.</p><p></p><p>My hopes that we found "THE THING" that would help him, started to soar. I had 48 hours of feeling comfortable and safe, with a very slight hope that things MIGHT be okay some day and I was so happy that he met with success. Thinking, that if he meets with success sometimes, he will start feeling better, and things will look up for him.</p><p></p><p>I get a call from guidance today( yesterday, at this point, but I still haven't gone to sleep, because last time he got this busted he tried to kill himself)</p><p>saying that he has had the worst week of his career there. All week he has sassed teachers, bullied a very sweet, defenseless kid, gotten in the middle of every kind of drama he could, got in a teacher's face aggressively, and was being placed in suspension, with request for us to sign a aggression contract, which states that they can give him back some of what he is dishing out ( within safe constraints).</p><p></p><p>I wondered if it was the Intuniv, but he started this before he even had first dose, and has been working up to it for weeks, it seems.</p><p></p><p>He totally lied to us. Lied through two hours of therapy about how much better he was feeling. Got some levels of "reward" for his lies from us, because we were treating him "better" in his eyes. </p><p>He said he bullied the kid because he had post-nasal drip and was making snarfing sounds -- so he called him a retard, and worse.</p><p>He didn't care that he lied to us, he just did it to get what he wanted at that moment. He was not sorry that he bullied the kid.</p><p></p><p>It is more complex than I am writing it...there is a lot of emotional stuff in there. I knew we were in trouble this morning when he woke up and broke rules right off the bat</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">showering without asking -- we are a one bathroom family, and he would go in shower and masturbate forever...he has to ask before showers -- he knows this. His sisters take morning showers, he takes night ones to stagger schedule.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">peeing standing up at toilet, because he pees all over the seat and floor...he knows he has to sit down to pee....just like my husband does. This is for years.</li> </ul><p>When we see even these small things start to go, often times it is an indicator that EVERYTHING is falling apart. I noted it, asked him about it -- his answer was that "he felt like he was ready to do those things without checking with us" and that is always an uh-oh. I got the phone call two hours later.</p><p></p><p>Oh, I just found out today that, a few months ago, he also locked that same kid (whose sisters hamsters he killed! This family now HATES us) in the bathroom ( no natural light) and when the kid screamed for help, he thought my son had left him alone, it turns out that my son had stayed in the bathroom to hear him scream, it seems. The poor kid has colitis and is often stuck on the john, so he was really stuck and frightened.</p><p></p><p>He also gave super spooky eyes to my daughters last weekend, before the Intuniv, staring them down in a threatening way, they reported. Also, before the Intuniv, his grades were all dropping, several to Ds. </p><p></p><p>So, is this the diagnosis swing -- maybe it's not really CD. Maybe it's just autism. Maybe someone made a mistake. Maybe it will get better. Maybe we won't need Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), which we don't even know how to get, or how to assess readiness for, maybe it is all a bad dream. things could be looking up, right?</p><p></p><p>Then another phone call. </p><p></p><p>He isn't far from being kicked out of that school. The next option is public school for emotionally disturbed kids, where he will get eaten alive. He only bullies the weakest possible kid at school, because he himself is a very easy target for bullying. Was physically bullied in public school in 3rd grade before we moved to special school. </p><p></p><p>I am torn between feeling terrible because he doesn't understand what is going on, and feeling like he knows EXACTLY what is going on and he is snowing all of us. I truly cannot tell.</p><p> </p><p>How can I tell which it is? More confused than ever.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Otto von Bismark, post: 502676, member: 12905"] My son has CD. He has history of killing animals, lying, pretending to "not know" in order to get out of trouble or explain away rules he is breaking. He also has deviant sexual history. He is only 13. He also is on autism spectrum, so some have said that autism is getting in the way of him understanding things -- and getting in the way of proper testing. This is all new for us, for the most part, since he hid a lot of it until the past September. We thought it was autism spectrum alone. His last testing showed borderline IQ, which I know people here have so kindly addressed. He also is extremely sensitive to medications. Goes to special school that is wonderful. Okay, background is out of the way. So, we try a new medication -- Intuniv. We have completed 3 days. On his first two days on it, he came home from school and reported that he had "his best days ever." He got all his work done. He felt better. He was a wonderful student who respected his teacher. He was nice to other kids. He felt hopeful, but very tired. My hopes that we found "THE THING" that would help him, started to soar. I had 48 hours of feeling comfortable and safe, with a very slight hope that things MIGHT be okay some day and I was so happy that he met with success. Thinking, that if he meets with success sometimes, he will start feeling better, and things will look up for him. I get a call from guidance today( yesterday, at this point, but I still haven't gone to sleep, because last time he got this busted he tried to kill himself) saying that he has had the worst week of his career there. All week he has sassed teachers, bullied a very sweet, defenseless kid, gotten in the middle of every kind of drama he could, got in a teacher's face aggressively, and was being placed in suspension, with request for us to sign a aggression contract, which states that they can give him back some of what he is dishing out ( within safe constraints). I wondered if it was the Intuniv, but he started this before he even had first dose, and has been working up to it for weeks, it seems. He totally lied to us. Lied through two hours of therapy about how much better he was feeling. Got some levels of "reward" for his lies from us, because we were treating him "better" in his eyes. He said he bullied the kid because he had post-nasal drip and was making snarfing sounds -- so he called him a retard, and worse. He didn't care that he lied to us, he just did it to get what he wanted at that moment. He was not sorry that he bullied the kid. It is more complex than I am writing it...there is a lot of emotional stuff in there. I knew we were in trouble this morning when he woke up and broke rules right off the bat [LIST] [*]showering without asking -- we are a one bathroom family, and he would go in shower and masturbate forever...he has to ask before showers -- he knows this. His sisters take morning showers, he takes night ones to stagger schedule. [*]peeing standing up at toilet, because he pees all over the seat and floor...he knows he has to sit down to pee....just like my husband does. This is for years. [/LIST]When we see even these small things start to go, often times it is an indicator that EVERYTHING is falling apart. I noted it, asked him about it -- his answer was that "he felt like he was ready to do those things without checking with us" and that is always an uh-oh. I got the phone call two hours later. Oh, I just found out today that, a few months ago, he also locked that same kid (whose sisters hamsters he killed! This family now HATES us) in the bathroom ( no natural light) and when the kid screamed for help, he thought my son had left him alone, it turns out that my son had stayed in the bathroom to hear him scream, it seems. The poor kid has colitis and is often stuck on the john, so he was really stuck and frightened. He also gave super spooky eyes to my daughters last weekend, before the Intuniv, staring them down in a threatening way, they reported. Also, before the Intuniv, his grades were all dropping, several to Ds. So, is this the diagnosis swing -- maybe it's not really CD. Maybe it's just autism. Maybe someone made a mistake. Maybe it will get better. Maybe we won't need Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), which we don't even know how to get, or how to assess readiness for, maybe it is all a bad dream. things could be looking up, right? Then another phone call. He isn't far from being kicked out of that school. The next option is public school for emotionally disturbed kids, where he will get eaten alive. He only bullies the weakest possible kid at school, because he himself is a very easy target for bullying. Was physically bullied in public school in 3rd grade before we moved to special school. I am torn between feeling terrible because he doesn't understand what is going on, and feeling like he knows EXACTLY what is going on and he is snowing all of us. I truly cannot tell. How can I tell which it is? More confused than ever..... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why do I have swings in levels of hope for my son? Is this the fate of CD parents?
Top