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Why do I keep hoping that he will change?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 626468" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Over the past four years, easy child and girlfriend-now-fiancee have lived four hours away as they have been in grad school/pharmacy school and my house is their HQ when they come into town--where they both went to undergrad school.</p><p></p><p>I am glad that they come and I want them to be here. This is where easy child grew up---it was his house too for years.</p><p></p><p>But now it's my house and they are guests. The first few times easy child and girlfriend came, easy child just plopped down and "came home." They took over the living room and their computers and ipads and stuff was everywhere. When they left, the upstairs guest room and bathroom were unmade, towels, etc. I would buy all kinds of food and kind of wait to see what their schedules were to cook big dinners, etc. A lot of the time, I threw the food away and they were running all day and night when they were here so few big dinners as I had envisioned. </p><p></p><p>So, finally, I said hey you guys. I want you to come and feel at home, anytime. When you leave, leave it like you found it. </p><p>I'll have some drinks and fruit here but it looks like you want to eat at your fave places while you're here, so I'm not going to plan food. I would like to cook some dinners from visit to visit, so we can all sit down together. Let's plan that before you come on some of your visits.</p><p></p><p>You know, that has worked well. We came to an understanding and the past years of visits have been very enjoyable. </p><p></p><p>For difficult child...last time he was here for several hours he took a shower, at something, and that was okay too. Little bits of time work best with him and me. If he wanted to spend the night here, I would have to stay up all night protecting my home. Not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 626468, member: 17542"] Over the past four years, easy child and girlfriend-now-fiancee have lived four hours away as they have been in grad school/pharmacy school and my house is their HQ when they come into town--where they both went to undergrad school. I am glad that they come and I want them to be here. This is where easy child grew up---it was his house too for years. But now it's my house and they are guests. The first few times easy child and girlfriend came, easy child just plopped down and "came home." They took over the living room and their computers and ipads and stuff was everywhere. When they left, the upstairs guest room and bathroom were unmade, towels, etc. I would buy all kinds of food and kind of wait to see what their schedules were to cook big dinners, etc. A lot of the time, I threw the food away and they were running all day and night when they were here so few big dinners as I had envisioned. So, finally, I said hey you guys. I want you to come and feel at home, anytime. When you leave, leave it like you found it. I'll have some drinks and fruit here but it looks like you want to eat at your fave places while you're here, so I'm not going to plan food. I would like to cook some dinners from visit to visit, so we can all sit down together. Let's plan that before you come on some of your visits. You know, that has worked well. We came to an understanding and the past years of visits have been very enjoyable. For difficult child...last time he was here for several hours he took a shower, at something, and that was okay too. Little bits of time work best with him and me. If he wanted to spend the night here, I would have to stay up all night protecting my home. Not. [/QUOTE]
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Why do I keep hoping that he will change?
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