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why do I still talk????
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 446067" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>For years my mother had no clue what was going on with the difficult children. Well, even NOW, she has little clue. I just pretty much kept it to idle chit chat. Anything else opened up a whole other can of worms that I didn't want to deal with.</p><p></p><p>As for grandma interfering, you're going to have to stand your ground and just plain tell her to <strong>back off</strong>, this is <strong>your</strong> child, not hers. She needs to respect you both as an adult and a mother, she won't learn to do that if you don't set your boundaries firmly in place. My mom also tried to do such things. She found out consistently I don't put up with it. (as she wouldn't put up with it if my own grandma had tried it) I tried to be tactful, but if that didn't work (and often it didn't) I was blunt and direct. But it can take time for them to get the idea, so be prepared to dig in your heels for a while. </p><p></p><p>I work very hard not to interfere with my kids parenting of their own children. IF I feel the need to speak up about something........and I have at times.........it's in private. I am careful to avoid saying anything within a child's earshot.</p><p></p><p>That said.......people just often do not get it, even family. My mom is a nurse, and she doesn't get it.......and she has this "my family has to be perfect" syndrome going on which doesn't help. Old stigma's die hard. My son is blind, sees very little, and I was an ogre for not even attempting to get his license. (we did check with those in the know and there is no way he can drive) She can't accept his blindness.....the other stuff just zips over her head completely. These types......you have to learn to ignore, even when they're family. For the most part I was successful at it......but there were times when I'd blow pretty big too.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 446067, member: 84"] For years my mother had no clue what was going on with the difficult children. Well, even NOW, she has little clue. I just pretty much kept it to idle chit chat. Anything else opened up a whole other can of worms that I didn't want to deal with. As for grandma interfering, you're going to have to stand your ground and just plain tell her to [B]back off[/B], this is [B]your[/B] child, not hers. She needs to respect you both as an adult and a mother, she won't learn to do that if you don't set your boundaries firmly in place. My mom also tried to do such things. She found out consistently I don't put up with it. (as she wouldn't put up with it if my own grandma had tried it) I tried to be tactful, but if that didn't work (and often it didn't) I was blunt and direct. But it can take time for them to get the idea, so be prepared to dig in your heels for a while. I work very hard not to interfere with my kids parenting of their own children. IF I feel the need to speak up about something........and I have at times.........it's in private. I am careful to avoid saying anything within a child's earshot. That said.......people just often do not get it, even family. My mom is a nurse, and she doesn't get it.......and she has this "my family has to be perfect" syndrome going on which doesn't help. Old stigma's die hard. My son is blind, sees very little, and I was an ogre for not even attempting to get his license. (we did check with those in the know and there is no way he can drive) She can't accept his blindness.....the other stuff just zips over her head completely. These types......you have to learn to ignore, even when they're family. For the most part I was successful at it......but there were times when I'd blow pretty big too. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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