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Why do people lie and/or avoid?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 250049"><p>Marguerite: Totally agree...brutal honesty...not usually appropriate...esp. with casual friends or those who are sensitive. It seems appropriate with some folks to find something nice to say even under the most difficult of circumstances. Learning to lie to the woman who didn't hear you say "no" sounded like a good thing...self preservation. My concern is folks who are adults who are good friends...yet are too easily embarassed and too quick to engage in this behavior.</p><p> </p><p>Lothlorien: Yep, I see it...the avoidance of conflict. People get embarassed. People have their own issues. I think it's probably best to be honest, but to be kind. And of course, the closer we are to people, the more up front we might be able to be "frank" with them.</p><p> </p><p>I personally, appreciate someone who is honest with me...especially if I ask. This also means if I mess up ... not just if there is a problem on their end. I also think this is at least partially a self esteem issue. When I'm feeling good in this department, it's easier for me to say "I'm very sorry. I messed up. My life was haywire at that time. How can I make it up to you." (Also, discretion is good. Privacy, etc.).</p><p> </p><p>by the way...with telephone solititors...I just say things like "Due to the economy, we are very limited with reference to our donations. Thank you for your call. Good luck with your efforts." Then I quickly hang up. I do NOT entertain discussion. That's just the way I handle it. The bottom line...don't beat yourself up, don't feel guilt, don't stay on the phone. Whatever technique you use is fine.</p><p> </p><p>I greatly appreciate your input...it is wonderful!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 250049"] Marguerite: Totally agree...brutal honesty...not usually appropriate...esp. with casual friends or those who are sensitive. It seems appropriate with some folks to find something nice to say even under the most difficult of circumstances. Learning to lie to the woman who didn't hear you say "no" sounded like a good thing...self preservation. My concern is folks who are adults who are good friends...yet are too easily embarassed and too quick to engage in this behavior. Lothlorien: Yep, I see it...the avoidance of conflict. People get embarassed. People have their own issues. I think it's probably best to be honest, but to be kind. And of course, the closer we are to people, the more up front we might be able to be "frank" with them. I personally, appreciate someone who is honest with me...especially if I ask. This also means if I mess up ... not just if there is a problem on their end. I also think this is at least partially a self esteem issue. When I'm feeling good in this department, it's easier for me to say "I'm very sorry. I messed up. My life was haywire at that time. How can I make it up to you." (Also, discretion is good. Privacy, etc.). by the way...with telephone solititors...I just say things like "Due to the economy, we are very limited with reference to our donations. Thank you for your call. Good luck with your efforts." Then I quickly hang up. I do NOT entertain discussion. That's just the way I handle it. The bottom line...don't beat yourself up, don't feel guilt, don't stay on the phone. Whatever technique you use is fine. I greatly appreciate your input...it is wonderful!!! [/QUOTE]
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Why do people lie and/or avoid?
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