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Why do people lie and/or avoid?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 250129" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Experience and modeling are the main reasons that adults are challenged to directly communicate with another as to what is true for them.</p><p>Children are learning through developemental stages and depending what age and what is going on in their heads as they fill in blanks for themselves...I have a hard time accepting that children are 'lieing, when they are actually just inexperianced. What they say maybe off mark, but when I talk with children the thinking process is often not really lieing, it is more a lack of perception and a little less straight forward than an intentional lie,per se.</p><p>With adults when someone is indirectly communicative, then at least you can let that person know that between you and them it is ok, whatever is so is safe with you (if it is) otherwise, perhaps if one is truely honest, do you really want the whole truth? When she says her e-mail wasn't working right, does she have to say to you that she was in a funk under stress,distracted?</p><p>although you value and want others to respond in kind, is that really as 'friendly' as letting them operate without those demands from you? Sure on one hand it is 'common courtesy' to xyz, but it is proper ediquette to act to make others feel comfortable.</p><p>I had a friend who would walk out with out saying good-bye. I found it hurtful. To me, walking out without saying good-bye felt like she didn't appreciate how much I care about her.</p><p>However, later in life, armed with her example, I discovered times when walking out without saying good-bye was appropriate for me and I was not caught up in the </p><p>pattern that I general do to this day prefer.</p><p>You have to look at is it "lieing" or is this a way of saying some of what is true without the detail you are just in the habit of offering?</p><p>If it is lieiing the only thing I ever found about liars is that they will ruin the reputation of others and to get away from them.</p><p>I think that sometime adults use lieing and liar on things that are not really either.</p><p>Especially with children.</p><p>When I reflect that someone is lieing or a liar it is strictly based on what I know to be true. </p><p>A child I will ask questions so that I do understand what they are thinking and to the best of their ability what they able to say. Children perfer to have the facts out and understood and to be relieved of any funnyfeelings that parents know they wear often on their face and contenence until, whoosh, those are releived.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 250129, member: 6271"] Experience and modeling are the main reasons that adults are challenged to directly communicate with another as to what is true for them. Children are learning through developemental stages and depending what age and what is going on in their heads as they fill in blanks for themselves...I have a hard time accepting that children are 'lieing, when they are actually just inexperianced. What they say maybe off mark, but when I talk with children the thinking process is often not really lieing, it is more a lack of perception and a little less straight forward than an intentional lie,per se. With adults when someone is indirectly communicative, then at least you can let that person know that between you and them it is ok, whatever is so is safe with you (if it is) otherwise, perhaps if one is truely honest, do you really want the whole truth? When she says her e-mail wasn't working right, does she have to say to you that she was in a funk under stress,distracted? although you value and want others to respond in kind, is that really as 'friendly' as letting them operate without those demands from you? Sure on one hand it is 'common courtesy' to xyz, but it is proper ediquette to act to make others feel comfortable. I had a friend who would walk out with out saying good-bye. I found it hurtful. To me, walking out without saying good-bye felt like she didn't appreciate how much I care about her. However, later in life, armed with her example, I discovered times when walking out without saying good-bye was appropriate for me and I was not caught up in the pattern that I general do to this day prefer. You have to look at is it "lieing" or is this a way of saying some of what is true without the detail you are just in the habit of offering? If it is lieiing the only thing I ever found about liars is that they will ruin the reputation of others and to get away from them. I think that sometime adults use lieing and liar on things that are not really either. Especially with children. When I reflect that someone is lieing or a liar it is strictly based on what I know to be true. A child I will ask questions so that I do understand what they are thinking and to the best of their ability what they able to say. Children perfer to have the facts out and understood and to be relieved of any funnyfeelings that parents know they wear often on their face and contenence until, whoosh, those are releived. [/QUOTE]
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Why do people lie and/or avoid?
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