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General Parenting
Why do they do even worse things when they are in trouble?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 557672" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If she had a very chaotic life before she went into your home, she could have attachment disorder (and it sounds like the whole disorder). Harming animals, fascination with fire, and peeing/pooping inappropriately are the three symptoms, if done together, that are quite serious. You did not mention fire play or peeing/pooping inappropriately, but in case she is, just passing along what I learned when we adopted a very mentally sick young man. Just deliberately harming animals is serious and more than "bad behavior." </p><p></p><p>If she has fetal alcohol spectrum, it is very hard for people with that to understand right and wrong and they tend to repeat over and over again. They have poor impulse control. Alcohol during pregnancy can cause organic brain damage. Has this child ever seen a neuropsychologist so that you know what you are dealing with? If it is a demon you CAN fight or something that she can't control? Is she capable of learning from her mistakes or not? How does your granddaughter do in school? Her motivation could be just that she was alcohol exposed in utero and therefore does not experience the world the way other people do. Did your daughter use drugs besides alcohol when she was pregnant too?</p><p></p><p>You told us about your side of her genetic background, but what about her birthfather? She carries 50% of his DNA too. Anything there, as far as mental health? Was she ever abused before she came into your care?</p><p></p><p>Since your grandchild has a difficult background, like many of our adopted kids (I know she's not adopted, but she does have a similar background), we know the difficult road you walk down. You are dealing with a complicated child and it can be very difficult and heartbreaking and most certainly has NOTHING to do with you and your good heart and love for her.</p><p></p><p>Please rehome the poor dog!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 557672, member: 1550"] If she had a very chaotic life before she went into your home, she could have attachment disorder (and it sounds like the whole disorder). Harming animals, fascination with fire, and peeing/pooping inappropriately are the three symptoms, if done together, that are quite serious. You did not mention fire play or peeing/pooping inappropriately, but in case she is, just passing along what I learned when we adopted a very mentally sick young man. Just deliberately harming animals is serious and more than "bad behavior." If she has fetal alcohol spectrum, it is very hard for people with that to understand right and wrong and they tend to repeat over and over again. They have poor impulse control. Alcohol during pregnancy can cause organic brain damage. Has this child ever seen a neuropsychologist so that you know what you are dealing with? If it is a demon you CAN fight or something that she can't control? Is she capable of learning from her mistakes or not? How does your granddaughter do in school? Her motivation could be just that she was alcohol exposed in utero and therefore does not experience the world the way other people do. Did your daughter use drugs besides alcohol when she was pregnant too? You told us about your side of her genetic background, but what about her birthfather? She carries 50% of his DNA too. Anything there, as far as mental health? Was she ever abused before she came into your care? Since your grandchild has a difficult background, like many of our adopted kids (I know she's not adopted, but she does have a similar background), we know the difficult road you walk down. You are dealing with a complicated child and it can be very difficult and heartbreaking and most certainly has NOTHING to do with you and your good heart and love for her. Please rehome the poor dog! [/QUOTE]
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Why do they do even worse things when they are in trouble?
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