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Parent Emeritus
Why does Dad allow son’s abuse?
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 764346" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I have a 38 year old son who sounds much like your stepson. I was kept in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt for two decades, especially because my ex, his father allowed him to drink and get high at age 11. I enabled because I felt guilty and was sure my son would change if I showed him how much I love him. Nothing I did worked, and over the years he became more and more intimidating and verbally abuse. </p><p></p><p>I had to get help to learn to set boundaries and to finally decide that no matter how much I love my son, I refuse to be abused. He has rejected all counsel, and now because of his criminal behavior, he is facing a lengthy prison sentence. I cannot save him or change him. I can only love him, but that is from afar, so I accept letters that are respectful, but I do not talk to or visit him in jail. Save yourself, your husband, your marriage - you deserve to have a peaceful retirement.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 764346, member: 19832"] I have a 38 year old son who sounds much like your stepson. I was kept in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt for two decades, especially because my ex, his father allowed him to drink and get high at age 11. I enabled because I felt guilty and was sure my son would change if I showed him how much I love him. Nothing I did worked, and over the years he became more and more intimidating and verbally abuse. I had to get help to learn to set boundaries and to finally decide that no matter how much I love my son, I refuse to be abused. He has rejected all counsel, and now because of his criminal behavior, he is facing a lengthy prison sentence. I cannot save him or change him. I can only love him, but that is from afar, so I accept letters that are respectful, but I do not talk to or visit him in jail. Save yourself, your husband, your marriage - you deserve to have a peaceful retirement. [/QUOTE]
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Why does Dad allow son’s abuse?
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