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General Parenting
Why does he antagonise other kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 537892" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Malika, </p><p>This describes my youngest perfectly. It is sad really because even though he has made progress other kids have leaped ahead socially. And it does impact school as we are seeing because he has turned into a bit of clown, challenging of teachers etc as he feels more and more socially isolated. Which doesn't make his teachers like him, which makes him feel bad about himself, which cause him to be more judgmental about others, which further alienates his friends.... vicious circle. </p><p></p><p>I wish I could give you some advice. We have not found counseling very effective (not enough in the moment), social skills groups were marginally effective--targetted more at kids with autism spectrum issues rather than whatever it is that is going on with my child (who is definitely not on spectrum, but has difficulty regulating himself in appropriate ways that are not hit you over the head off-putting). Two things that seem to help are finding things for him to do that involve positive adult mentoring, and trying to stop the constant barrage of criticism or anger at home. Not that we terrible that way, but it is just that all these kids seem to hear is negativity--in part deserved but not helpful. </p><p></p><p>good luck. It is a very tough situation.</p><p></p><p>I guess the only other thing I could say is to have a heart to heart with his teacher next year. Too me the behavior you describe is more important than what my child actually learns. I think having friends and fitting in will in turn make the whole experience of school more positive and free up energy for academics. So if the teacher seems to be someone who could gently reflect back to J what is going on socially and help him find better strategies that would be great. Are French teachers trained in that area? Otherwise a really dynamite type of Special Education teacher in the US could help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 537892, member: 2322"] Malika, This describes my youngest perfectly. It is sad really because even though he has made progress other kids have leaped ahead socially. And it does impact school as we are seeing because he has turned into a bit of clown, challenging of teachers etc as he feels more and more socially isolated. Which doesn't make his teachers like him, which makes him feel bad about himself, which cause him to be more judgmental about others, which further alienates his friends.... vicious circle. I wish I could give you some advice. We have not found counseling very effective (not enough in the moment), social skills groups were marginally effective--targetted more at kids with autism spectrum issues rather than whatever it is that is going on with my child (who is definitely not on spectrum, but has difficulty regulating himself in appropriate ways that are not hit you over the head off-putting). Two things that seem to help are finding things for him to do that involve positive adult mentoring, and trying to stop the constant barrage of criticism or anger at home. Not that we terrible that way, but it is just that all these kids seem to hear is negativity--in part deserved but not helpful. good luck. It is a very tough situation. I guess the only other thing I could say is to have a heart to heart with his teacher next year. Too me the behavior you describe is more important than what my child actually learns. I think having friends and fitting in will in turn make the whole experience of school more positive and free up energy for academics. So if the teacher seems to be someone who could gently reflect back to J what is going on socially and help him find better strategies that would be great. Are French teachers trained in that area? Otherwise a really dynamite type of Special Education teacher in the US could help. [/QUOTE]
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