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General Parenting
Why does he antagonise other kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 538004" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>It would make me happy if J's sweet, co-operative, generous and playful side could be translated into friendly and pleasant relationships with his peers... I do feel, intuitively (not a head thing) that part of the problem at least is that his life so far really has led to a sense of not knowing who he is truly, where he is truly, and that this anxiety and insecurity feeds his antagonistic behaviour sometimes. Born in Morocco where he lived until aged 18months. Then from 18 months to 2 staying in Britain. Then 2 to 3 back in Morocco where meantime my ex-husband and I divorced, quite messily, then from aged 3 to now in France... Speaking first Arabic, then English, then French... little wonder he does not have a sense of natural and rightful confidence about his identity. </p><p>Clearly, others will not have understanding of all that!! He needs to learn to dance the social dance... not least because others have their rights not to be spoken to rudely or aggressed... I think, yes, it's a self-regulation and impulse problem. Can't hold himself back physically, often, difficulty with boundaries. I also have over-high expectations, possibly, and get stressed when he doesn't behave like a little gentleman in social situations... I need to try to restrain my judgement and dislike, and try to meet him where he is to expand his skills in this area.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 538004, member: 11227"] It would make me happy if J's sweet, co-operative, generous and playful side could be translated into friendly and pleasant relationships with his peers... I do feel, intuitively (not a head thing) that part of the problem at least is that his life so far really has led to a sense of not knowing who he is truly, where he is truly, and that this anxiety and insecurity feeds his antagonistic behaviour sometimes. Born in Morocco where he lived until aged 18months. Then from 18 months to 2 staying in Britain. Then 2 to 3 back in Morocco where meantime my ex-husband and I divorced, quite messily, then from aged 3 to now in France... Speaking first Arabic, then English, then French... little wonder he does not have a sense of natural and rightful confidence about his identity. Clearly, others will not have understanding of all that!! He needs to learn to dance the social dance... not least because others have their rights not to be spoken to rudely or aggressed... I think, yes, it's a self-regulation and impulse problem. Can't hold himself back physically, often, difficulty with boundaries. I also have over-high expectations, possibly, and get stressed when he doesn't behave like a little gentleman in social situations... I need to try to restrain my judgement and dislike, and try to meet him where he is to expand his skills in this area. [/QUOTE]
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Why does he antagonise other kids?
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