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The Watercooler
Why does most of the learned behavior in childhood goes away when you are a adult?
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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 675613" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>I believe that, as adults, we keep the behaviors that were modeled for us, not necessarily doing what we were told to do.</p><p></p><p>For example, Miss KT was horribly rude to me and even worse to Hubby during those awful teen years. Disobeying, lying, other inappropriate behaviors, and I truly wondered how she would be as an adult. She was lazy, never cleaned anything (including herself for a time), her room needed a bulldozer to clean up after she moved...</p><p></p><p>Now, at 24, she picks up stuff she knocks over in the store and puts it back (I was in retail management and had fits when someone knocked something down and then walked over it). She refuses to talk on her cell phone while checking out of a store, because (she says) I used to say how rude it was to those people punching a register who are trapped dealing with jerks all day. She worked through college and has continued to further her career, quite unlike her father whom I refer to as Useless Boy.</p><p></p><p>She saw what I did and internalized that, even during the time she hated my guts and threatened to kill me in my sleep (I believed her and did not sleep at night for two years). When the crisis point came, she was 16 and I sent her to live with my mother. After nine months there, she had improved considerably.</p><p></p><p>My point here is that, similar to what IC said, the consistently modeled messages are the ones that stick, not the "rules" given that no one seems to follow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 675613, member: 4040"] I believe that, as adults, we keep the behaviors that were modeled for us, not necessarily doing what we were told to do. For example, Miss KT was horribly rude to me and even worse to Hubby during those awful teen years. Disobeying, lying, other inappropriate behaviors, and I truly wondered how she would be as an adult. She was lazy, never cleaned anything (including herself for a time), her room needed a bulldozer to clean up after she moved... Now, at 24, she picks up stuff she knocks over in the store and puts it back (I was in retail management and had fits when someone knocked something down and then walked over it). She refuses to talk on her cell phone while checking out of a store, because (she says) I used to say how rude it was to those people punching a register who are trapped dealing with jerks all day. She worked through college and has continued to further her career, quite unlike her father whom I refer to as Useless Boy. She saw what I did and internalized that, even during the time she hated my guts and threatened to kill me in my sleep (I believed her and did not sleep at night for two years). When the crisis point came, she was 16 and I sent her to live with my mother. After nine months there, she had improved considerably. My point here is that, similar to what IC said, the consistently modeled messages are the ones that stick, not the "rules" given that no one seems to follow. [/QUOTE]
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Why does most of the learned behavior in childhood goes away when you are a adult?
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