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General Parenting
Why does my son complain so often?
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<blockquote data-quote="whatamess" data-source="post: 445767" data-attributes="member: 7664"><p>Malika, you seem like a caring and introspective mother. It sounds like you are being proactive by foreshadowing the expectations. I think the important point here is not to expect his tantrums will end with a magic understanding or formula of reactions/interactions. He is four, he lacks some skills to express frustration in the way we adults see fit. He will learn, in time and with patience and consistency on your part, how to navigate this world. I think it is very promising that he can have his outburst/tantrum and be put back together within a relatively short amount of time. As I'm sure you do, you can give him words to describe what it appeared he was feeling, "you seemed so frustrated about not getting that toy". I do not believe acknowledging feelings is coddling/spoiling a child and I also do not believe it will lead to immediate "proper" behavior- I do believe this compassion lends itself to strengthening and preserving the relationship with the child, rather than creating battles of will which will likely end in anger and/or apathy in the misunderstood child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="whatamess, post: 445767, member: 7664"] Malika, you seem like a caring and introspective mother. It sounds like you are being proactive by foreshadowing the expectations. I think the important point here is not to expect his tantrums will end with a magic understanding or formula of reactions/interactions. He is four, he lacks some skills to express frustration in the way we adults see fit. He will learn, in time and with patience and consistency on your part, how to navigate this world. I think it is very promising that he can have his outburst/tantrum and be put back together within a relatively short amount of time. As I'm sure you do, you can give him words to describe what it appeared he was feeling, "you seemed so frustrated about not getting that toy". I do not believe acknowledging feelings is coddling/spoiling a child and I also do not believe it will lead to immediate "proper" behavior- I do believe this compassion lends itself to strengthening and preserving the relationship with the child, rather than creating battles of will which will likely end in anger and/or apathy in the misunderstood child. [/QUOTE]
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Why does my son complain so often?
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