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Why I Live in Isolation!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 201620" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Normal kids have meltdowns too. It happens a lot especially when they're younger. I remember a classmate of easy child 2/difficult child 2's having a VERY public meltdown at 12 years old, stamping her feet and crying like a two year old because it was time for her to go home! (mind you, with hindsight I don't think she was all that normal).</p><p></p><p>I hear you, not wanting to speak up. Do not feel disloyal - your primary loyalty is to you and your son. You were the one on the spot, you were the one who had to make the call.</p><p></p><p>But I also do not agree with people being so critical of this other woman that they want to get so angry with her - we are each a product of our own environment. If her environment included an upbringing with parents who were horrified at the stigma of mental illness, plus she's not had any personal contact (that she is aware of) with mental illness - then I can understand her lack of compassion. She just doesn't understand.</p><p></p><p>My mother in law grew up in such an environment as this woman. She was also a nurse at a time when psychiatric medicine was primitive, hit-and-miss and suspect. When I hear of some of the things that used to be done in the name of psychiatry, I can understand mother in law's bias. I am grateful my own mother didn't feel this way. mother in law is someone I can't re-educate. It's too late. She is increasingly understanding towards difficult child 3 and has even (reluctantly) accepted the wisdom of the counselling we've had in place for difficult child 3 and for easy child 2/difficult child 2. I explained exactly what the psychologists were working on and especially explained CBT to my mother in law and she said, "Well, THAT sounds sensible. I certainly approve of that!"</p><p>And yet a week later she will again be sounding off about psychologists all being charlatans out to invent something wrong so they can clean out your bank balance and make you think you're crazy. She is a product of her environment.</p><p></p><p>The funny thing - mother in law was saying to me yesterday, "I wish sister in law would get some counselling, she is so stressed right now."</p><p></p><p>So there is always hope!</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the best way to teach someone like tis mother, is to say nothing at all and just let circumstances do the job.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 201620, member: 1991"] Normal kids have meltdowns too. It happens a lot especially when they're younger. I remember a classmate of easy child 2/difficult child 2's having a VERY public meltdown at 12 years old, stamping her feet and crying like a two year old because it was time for her to go home! (mind you, with hindsight I don't think she was all that normal). I hear you, not wanting to speak up. Do not feel disloyal - your primary loyalty is to you and your son. You were the one on the spot, you were the one who had to make the call. But I also do not agree with people being so critical of this other woman that they want to get so angry with her - we are each a product of our own environment. If her environment included an upbringing with parents who were horrified at the stigma of mental illness, plus she's not had any personal contact (that she is aware of) with mental illness - then I can understand her lack of compassion. She just doesn't understand. My mother in law grew up in such an environment as this woman. She was also a nurse at a time when psychiatric medicine was primitive, hit-and-miss and suspect. When I hear of some of the things that used to be done in the name of psychiatry, I can understand mother in law's bias. I am grateful my own mother didn't feel this way. mother in law is someone I can't re-educate. It's too late. She is increasingly understanding towards difficult child 3 and has even (reluctantly) accepted the wisdom of the counselling we've had in place for difficult child 3 and for easy child 2/difficult child 2. I explained exactly what the psychologists were working on and especially explained CBT to my mother in law and she said, "Well, THAT sounds sensible. I certainly approve of that!" And yet a week later she will again be sounding off about psychologists all being charlatans out to invent something wrong so they can clean out your bank balance and make you think you're crazy. She is a product of her environment. The funny thing - mother in law was saying to me yesterday, "I wish sister in law would get some counselling, she is so stressed right now." So there is always hope! Sometimes the best way to teach someone like tis mother, is to say nothing at all and just let circumstances do the job. Marg [/QUOTE]
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