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General Parenting
Why is finding a Dr so dang hard?!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 504855" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I have to agree with-Insane.</p><p>These issues were probably already there, but it was easier for her to get out of situations simply by leaving the room, going to her own room, changing her clothes, etc. so it seemed normal and did not stand out. Now you've got one child who has to fit into a routine with-dozens of other kids and her behavior is supposed to be conforming, so she's really going to stand out.</p><p>In addition, I bet they have fluorescent lights and other things that can make her wiggy. </p><p>One thing you can do at home if she starts stealing, that worked for us is the Alien Encounter. You sit down with-her (carve out a good hour of your schedule) and tell her you know she took XYZ and need to have it back. She will deny taking it, and you will then say, I didn't take it, your dad didn't take it, the dog didn't take it. That only leaves one solution: an alien.</p><p>She will look at you like you're totally out of your mind, of course. You then say that you are going to do an Alien Watch, and will sit there and wait until the Alien shows up. Which could take a while. (Be sure to tell her this.) Also, tell her that Aliens do not go to kids' rooms (for several reasons ... just in case she's scared, you want her to feel safe in her room, but also, you want her out in the open with-you for this exercise). Just sit on the couch, at the table, or on the steps and stare at the ceiling and walls. If she says she's bored, tell her that it can be very boring, but you cannot leave for even a second, because that's just when the Alien will choose to show up. You get the idea.</p><p>Our therapist said that one of his clients took nearly an entire day for this! But luckily, our difficult child only took about 15 min. </p><p>This works for teenagers, too. (It's actually more fun. You can take their car keys and say the kid can have them back as soon as he or the Alien turns over that book of matches or stolen iPod.)</p><p>But the teachers at school do not have the time or patience for this. So they are going to do immediate discipline/Time Out and then the whole thing escalates.</p><p>Maybe you can sit her down and explain how the school discipline thing works. And tell her that hiding under her desk just makes it worse. That going to a safe place, say, the principal's ofc or the nurse's ofc or an otherwise specified room is a better way to handle it. Instead of reacting to her reactions, make a plan, because this will happen again. The teachers are treating it as deliberate misbehavior, when in fact, she may not be able to control it at all.</p><p>If she tested below average for emotional cognition, she's possibly behaving like a 4-yr-old, and if they look at it like that, she won't seem so "bad." Know what I mean??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 504855, member: 3419"] I have to agree with-Insane. These issues were probably already there, but it was easier for her to get out of situations simply by leaving the room, going to her own room, changing her clothes, etc. so it seemed normal and did not stand out. Now you've got one child who has to fit into a routine with-dozens of other kids and her behavior is supposed to be conforming, so she's really going to stand out. In addition, I bet they have fluorescent lights and other things that can make her wiggy. One thing you can do at home if she starts stealing, that worked for us is the Alien Encounter. You sit down with-her (carve out a good hour of your schedule) and tell her you know she took XYZ and need to have it back. She will deny taking it, and you will then say, I didn't take it, your dad didn't take it, the dog didn't take it. That only leaves one solution: an alien. She will look at you like you're totally out of your mind, of course. You then say that you are going to do an Alien Watch, and will sit there and wait until the Alien shows up. Which could take a while. (Be sure to tell her this.) Also, tell her that Aliens do not go to kids' rooms (for several reasons ... just in case she's scared, you want her to feel safe in her room, but also, you want her out in the open with-you for this exercise). Just sit on the couch, at the table, or on the steps and stare at the ceiling and walls. If she says she's bored, tell her that it can be very boring, but you cannot leave for even a second, because that's just when the Alien will choose to show up. You get the idea. Our therapist said that one of his clients took nearly an entire day for this! But luckily, our difficult child only took about 15 min. This works for teenagers, too. (It's actually more fun. You can take their car keys and say the kid can have them back as soon as he or the Alien turns over that book of matches or stolen iPod.) But the teachers at school do not have the time or patience for this. So they are going to do immediate discipline/Time Out and then the whole thing escalates. Maybe you can sit her down and explain how the school discipline thing works. And tell her that hiding under her desk just makes it worse. That going to a safe place, say, the principal's ofc or the nurse's ofc or an otherwise specified room is a better way to handle it. Instead of reacting to her reactions, make a plan, because this will happen again. The teachers are treating it as deliberate misbehavior, when in fact, she may not be able to control it at all. If she tested below average for emotional cognition, she's possibly behaving like a 4-yr-old, and if they look at it like that, she won't seem so "bad." Know what I mean?? [/QUOTE]
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