MWM - I had a similar experience as you growing up, just not as extreme. I knew my mother hated me during the teen years and she couldn't wait till I left the house. I still feel like I'm being judged by her even today so it's a strained relationship and one I do not want with my own child. I agree with you completely.
difficult children all seem to have a keen sense of other people's emotional states and tend to focus on the negatives more than the average person. That's why I think it's really important to discipline but without judgement and anger cause they will pick up on it and your relationship will be that much more violatile. It's all in the presentation. Follow the advice of the autism experts and use "low expressed emotion" when handing out consequences. Have you ever heard of the traffic cop method of discipline? You need to be the traffic cop - state the rules, hand out the consequence and get back in your car.
