Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why is it we are expected.......
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 63536" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>I think as parents of difficult children we have to evolve a bit. I think with younger kids we put up with more of the verbal junk because we're trying to find answers, strategies, medications, treatment, *anything* that will work. Yes, the MI plays into it - an unstable kid will do unstable things. But, and this is just my opinion, I do think there should come a time when we start drawing lines in the sand. By not responding to the junk, by continuing to let it roll off our backs, I think we are sending a not so subtle message that it's acceptable and okay. I very strongly believe that by early teen years at the latest, we need to at least start more forcefully addressing these behaviors regardless of diagnosis. No one is going to give a darn that thank you's BiPolar (BP) if he goes off the deep end and mouths off to his boss. He will be fired, period. What a shock to him and really how unfair to him if I've allowed the mouth all these years. </p><p></p><p>I agree with- Mrs. Smith that it needs to be a neutral response to the behaviors (any emotion on my part is just gasoline to thank you's fires) but at the same time there *does* need to be a shift to consequences for and intolerance of the behavior. </p><p></p><p>Remove the audience. Walk away. Leave the house. Go see a movie or shoot pool or buy a new dress. If he gets an allowance, spend it on yourself because he's just lost his "job" by mouthing off to the boss. </p><p></p><p>I very strongly feel that it's a huge disservice to potential future functionality if you excuse the behavior because of the illness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 63536, member: 8"] I think as parents of difficult children we have to evolve a bit. I think with younger kids we put up with more of the verbal junk because we're trying to find answers, strategies, medications, treatment, *anything* that will work. Yes, the MI plays into it - an unstable kid will do unstable things. But, and this is just my opinion, I do think there should come a time when we start drawing lines in the sand. By not responding to the junk, by continuing to let it roll off our backs, I think we are sending a not so subtle message that it's acceptable and okay. I very strongly believe that by early teen years at the latest, we need to at least start more forcefully addressing these behaviors regardless of diagnosis. No one is going to give a darn that thank you's BiPolar (BP) if he goes off the deep end and mouths off to his boss. He will be fired, period. What a shock to him and really how unfair to him if I've allowed the mouth all these years. I agree with- Mrs. Smith that it needs to be a neutral response to the behaviors (any emotion on my part is just gasoline to thank you's fires) but at the same time there *does* need to be a shift to consequences for and intolerance of the behavior. Remove the audience. Walk away. Leave the house. Go see a movie or shoot pool or buy a new dress. If he gets an allowance, spend it on yourself because he's just lost his "job" by mouthing off to the boss. I very strongly feel that it's a huge disservice to potential future functionality if you excuse the behavior because of the illness. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Why is it we are expected.......
Top