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Why is it we are expected.......
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 63579" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Every child is different. Every household is different. As I said, at one point the disrespect, the cursing, even the violence at home was secondary to what was happening to my daughter outside of the home. It was much more important to address her truancy, her shoplifting, her theft from everyone. So, for that period, I totally ignored the words. I would simply not respond at all.</p><p></p><p>For my child, it was not an issue in public. She cared too much what the world thought of her. Even in school, she would never talk to a teacher or a peer in the manner she spoke to me. She understood that people in general would not tolerate that type of treatment.</p><p></p><p>My child is basically lazy. Before this last journey of hers, there was no way I could get her to help around the house no matter what I tried. To say her room was a pigsty was being polite. However, when she had a job, all of her supervisors loved her. She had a great "can do" attitude. She was happy to do the worst jobs imaginable. She was quick to notice something needed doing and do it. Heck, she was fired from one place for not showing up for work and yet her supervisor still wrote her a letter of recommendation.</p><p></p><p>To me, mstangchic and MsMag are in the same boat -- they have to tolerate their sons' attitude and words and behavior at this point no matter how much it irritates and hurts. Their boys are almost adults but not adult enough to be sent to the curb according to laws. Once these young men reach 18, situations are different and the parents have the right to make some serious decisions. I do believe it pays to let 17 YOs know that things will be drastically different when they turn 18. Mom and Dad then have the right to say enough is enough and boot the child to the curb. Of course, making the threat and not following through makes the threat meaningless. So, for now, the parents are stuck with kids who feel they can do and say whatever they want and there are no real repercussions that can be made. </p><p></p><p>And I still stand that we have to do it because we chose to have our kids and keep them, they are our responsibility. SOs aren't. Friends aren't. Employers and co-workers aren't. We have the right to walk away from them if we so choose. We don't have the right to walk away from our minor children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 63579, member: 3626"] Every child is different. Every household is different. As I said, at one point the disrespect, the cursing, even the violence at home was secondary to what was happening to my daughter outside of the home. It was much more important to address her truancy, her shoplifting, her theft from everyone. So, for that period, I totally ignored the words. I would simply not respond at all. For my child, it was not an issue in public. She cared too much what the world thought of her. Even in school, she would never talk to a teacher or a peer in the manner she spoke to me. She understood that people in general would not tolerate that type of treatment. My child is basically lazy. Before this last journey of hers, there was no way I could get her to help around the house no matter what I tried. To say her room was a pigsty was being polite. However, when she had a job, all of her supervisors loved her. She had a great "can do" attitude. She was happy to do the worst jobs imaginable. She was quick to notice something needed doing and do it. Heck, she was fired from one place for not showing up for work and yet her supervisor still wrote her a letter of recommendation. To me, mstangchic and MsMag are in the same boat -- they have to tolerate their sons' attitude and words and behavior at this point no matter how much it irritates and hurts. Their boys are almost adults but not adult enough to be sent to the curb according to laws. Once these young men reach 18, situations are different and the parents have the right to make some serious decisions. I do believe it pays to let 17 YOs know that things will be drastically different when they turn 18. Mom and Dad then have the right to say enough is enough and boot the child to the curb. Of course, making the threat and not following through makes the threat meaningless. So, for now, the parents are stuck with kids who feel they can do and say whatever they want and there are no real repercussions that can be made. And I still stand that we have to do it because we chose to have our kids and keep them, they are our responsibility. SOs aren't. Friends aren't. Employers and co-workers aren't. We have the right to walk away from them if we so choose. We don't have the right to walk away from our minor children. [/QUOTE]
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