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Parent Emeritus
Why must she ruin every holiday? Warning...long, long, vent.
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 397011" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'm so sorry for the pain this has caused you and your family, especially at the holidays. I hope you can somehow put this behind you for today and tomorrow, at least, and focus your energy on your granddaughter and the joy Christmas will surely bring her. I know watching my grandson's face at Christmas makes my heart melt, and helps me forget the ugliness than can happen with my difficult children sometimes.</p><p></p><p>I know many of us are Facebook friends with our difficult children, for many different reasons. I've noticed many parents here are FB friends with their estranged difficult children, simply to keep an eye on them. I do understand that reasoning, believe me. But's a double-edged sword, because while it may keep you updated on what's going on in their lives, it can become a great source of stress, as you've just realized. difficult children *know* we are reading, and I'm convinced that the most unstable of difficult children sometimes "plant" information on their FB wall, knowing family members are reading, and use that just to stir up trouble (heck I know "friends" that do that, too, and I"m not even related to them). Sounds like exactly what your difficult child is doing. You have a couple of choices then.. you can unfriend them, or, you can "hide" their posts from your feed so that you never have to read them again unless you make the effort to click on their profile. I find hiding to be a short-term solution, personally, for friends whose drama I am fed up with... they effectively disappear but I am saved the "drama" of unfriending them. With your an estranged child, however, it would take extreme restraint not to look at their profile to see what's going on. Still, if they continue to post vile stuff and you never respond because you never read it (even though they may think you *are* reading it), it may tone things down a bit, once they realize they're not getting a reaction. </p><p></p><p>I love Facebook. I've reconnected with countless old friends there, and it's an interesting window into my daughters' lives (although sometimes, it's too much information, particularly with the pictures Oldedst sometimes posts... my my my). But, it's a drama-magnet. Tread cautiously if you are going to continue to follow your difficult child there, and ask yourself if it's worth it. Of course, she may have already unfriended you along with the other family members she unfriended, but I would bet you if she craves that much attention, she'll want to reconnect there sooner or later. </p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 397011, member: 1157"] I'm so sorry for the pain this has caused you and your family, especially at the holidays. I hope you can somehow put this behind you for today and tomorrow, at least, and focus your energy on your granddaughter and the joy Christmas will surely bring her. I know watching my grandson's face at Christmas makes my heart melt, and helps me forget the ugliness than can happen with my difficult children sometimes. I know many of us are Facebook friends with our difficult children, for many different reasons. I've noticed many parents here are FB friends with their estranged difficult children, simply to keep an eye on them. I do understand that reasoning, believe me. But's a double-edged sword, because while it may keep you updated on what's going on in their lives, it can become a great source of stress, as you've just realized. difficult children *know* we are reading, and I'm convinced that the most unstable of difficult children sometimes "plant" information on their FB wall, knowing family members are reading, and use that just to stir up trouble (heck I know "friends" that do that, too, and I"m not even related to them). Sounds like exactly what your difficult child is doing. You have a couple of choices then.. you can unfriend them, or, you can "hide" their posts from your feed so that you never have to read them again unless you make the effort to click on their profile. I find hiding to be a short-term solution, personally, for friends whose drama I am fed up with... they effectively disappear but I am saved the "drama" of unfriending them. With your an estranged child, however, it would take extreme restraint not to look at their profile to see what's going on. Still, if they continue to post vile stuff and you never respond because you never read it (even though they may think you *are* reading it), it may tone things down a bit, once they realize they're not getting a reaction. I love Facebook. I've reconnected with countless old friends there, and it's an interesting window into my daughters' lives (although sometimes, it's too much information, particularly with the pictures Oldedst sometimes posts... my my my). But, it's a drama-magnet. Tread cautiously if you are going to continue to follow your difficult child there, and ask yourself if it's worth it. Of course, she may have already unfriended you along with the other family members she unfriended, but I would bet you if she craves that much attention, she'll want to reconnect there sooner or later. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Why must she ruin every holiday? Warning...long, long, vent.
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