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Why must she ruin every holiday? Warning...long, long, vent.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 397035" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey Hex! </p><p> </p><p>I was thinking about you and your crafty-self the other day. I still have that beautiful snow man card you made and sent me years ago. I treasure it still. Seems like forever from then huh? I think Christmas should be what you make it - but sometimes when outside forces attack? It just can't be helped. Susie* gave you excellent advice about the record keeping and the restraining order. I would follow through with that. Actually I'd video tape every one of her visits from now on. </p><p> </p><p>You wanted to know why she ruins things? Shes miserable with herself. Therefore - everyone around her is entitled to feel her pain. It's obvious she cares very little for anyone. How can she? She doesn't even care about herself. I think out of everyone your little niece has probably the best handle on it even if she's naive to the world. She loves unconditionally. Not easy to do when the world jades you so badly. The fact that Rae can't pick her Mom out of a picture isn't going to make Rae feel better when she's older - and I don't think it makes you feel very good right now. Matter of fact, despite the entire facade you put up? I think it must hurt like hell. THIS ( waves arms around) isnt' what it was supposed to be like. THIS (this life, granddaughter, daughter where she is, X passed away, FB friends defending people they hardly know - and about that in a minute) isn't what I had pictured for you 10 years ago - how can it POSSIBLY be what YOU had pictured for you? It IS NOT. We all had something else pictured, then lowered our expectations exponentially, and dealt, and well - here we are. I'm a product of detachment to the nth power. I don't like it much, but I stay here becuase it's safe. I don't like not seeing my son for a year - but I'm safer, my heart stays mostly in one piece and I cry less most days. I hear about the new friends too - and currently his life is so awful it makes me just want to rescue him and cloak him in Mothers wings - because I think for the first time in a long time - he IS trying and the harder he tries the more messed up things seem to get for him. I don't get it anymore than he does - but I just try to encourage him to stay strong. </p><p> </p><p>As far as those people IN your daughters life currently? Yeah well (scoffs) I bet and would lay out more than a few $2 bills - that if we went back a few years to all the people that she has messed over - and just kinda went down the list of names of so-called former friends, roomies, the wives of husbands she slept with, boyfriends she took, neighbors she diddled.....and on and on - and got THEM to comment on your nieces face book page? I bet the scales would tip in favor of your family. MORE than even your daughter would be able to deny - although she would have a lie and a story for why everyone of them is a liar TOO. But you know, and I know - and now THEY know - what she's like. It's just that most people are SO glad to be rid of people with her kind of behavior - they don't tend to "follow" them. Unless of course she owes them - and then she probably should watch her back. The majority? Just glad to be shed of behaviors like that. </p><p> </p><p>I wish I could say this is over but borderlines rarely let things go. In her I see more borderline tendencies than I do anything else. have for a while. About the only thing I can recommend even though she's gone is to talk to a therapist and maybe the family courts and see what can be done - perhaps a mental health evaluation can be done or perhaps that would be kicking a bee hive. I dunno. IF your state is truly about the best interest of the child? I can't see them saying "Here - take her back." and handing her over to her Mother from the home she's known all her life. But nothing NOTHING in the South surprises me anymore. NOTHING. I bought a stolen car and the cops told me it's my fault - it even was advertised with pictures, and an ad that said EXCELLENT CONDITION, 126K - and showed the odometer - and they rolled it back 100K - and I got scammed for 1800 - and it's MY fault? Yup - nice - huh? Hang in there hon - </p><p> </p><p>We are here </p><p>Hugs & Love</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 397035, member: 4964"] Hey Hex! I was thinking about you and your crafty-self the other day. I still have that beautiful snow man card you made and sent me years ago. I treasure it still. Seems like forever from then huh? I think Christmas should be what you make it - but sometimes when outside forces attack? It just can't be helped. Susie* gave you excellent advice about the record keeping and the restraining order. I would follow through with that. Actually I'd video tape every one of her visits from now on. You wanted to know why she ruins things? Shes miserable with herself. Therefore - everyone around her is entitled to feel her pain. It's obvious she cares very little for anyone. How can she? She doesn't even care about herself. I think out of everyone your little niece has probably the best handle on it even if she's naive to the world. She loves unconditionally. Not easy to do when the world jades you so badly. The fact that Rae can't pick her Mom out of a picture isn't going to make Rae feel better when she's older - and I don't think it makes you feel very good right now. Matter of fact, despite the entire facade you put up? I think it must hurt like hell. THIS ( waves arms around) isnt' what it was supposed to be like. THIS (this life, granddaughter, daughter where she is, X passed away, FB friends defending people they hardly know - and about that in a minute) isn't what I had pictured for you 10 years ago - how can it POSSIBLY be what YOU had pictured for you? It IS NOT. We all had something else pictured, then lowered our expectations exponentially, and dealt, and well - here we are. I'm a product of detachment to the nth power. I don't like it much, but I stay here becuase it's safe. I don't like not seeing my son for a year - but I'm safer, my heart stays mostly in one piece and I cry less most days. I hear about the new friends too - and currently his life is so awful it makes me just want to rescue him and cloak him in Mothers wings - because I think for the first time in a long time - he IS trying and the harder he tries the more messed up things seem to get for him. I don't get it anymore than he does - but I just try to encourage him to stay strong. As far as those people IN your daughters life currently? Yeah well (scoffs) I bet and would lay out more than a few $2 bills - that if we went back a few years to all the people that she has messed over - and just kinda went down the list of names of so-called former friends, roomies, the wives of husbands she slept with, boyfriends she took, neighbors she diddled.....and on and on - and got THEM to comment on your nieces face book page? I bet the scales would tip in favor of your family. MORE than even your daughter would be able to deny - although she would have a lie and a story for why everyone of them is a liar TOO. But you know, and I know - and now THEY know - what she's like. It's just that most people are SO glad to be rid of people with her kind of behavior - they don't tend to "follow" them. Unless of course she owes them - and then she probably should watch her back. The majority? Just glad to be shed of behaviors like that. I wish I could say this is over but borderlines rarely let things go. In her I see more borderline tendencies than I do anything else. have for a while. About the only thing I can recommend even though she's gone is to talk to a therapist and maybe the family courts and see what can be done - perhaps a mental health evaluation can be done or perhaps that would be kicking a bee hive. I dunno. IF your state is truly about the best interest of the child? I can't see them saying "Here - take her back." and handing her over to her Mother from the home she's known all her life. But nothing NOTHING in the South surprises me anymore. NOTHING. I bought a stolen car and the cops told me it's my fault - it even was advertised with pictures, and an ad that said EXCELLENT CONDITION, 126K - and showed the odometer - and they rolled it back 100K - and I got scammed for 1800 - and it's MY fault? Yup - nice - huh? Hang in there hon - We are here Hugs & Love [/QUOTE]
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Why must she ruin every holiday? Warning...long, long, vent.
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