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Why so numb?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 621359" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>BITS, just a teeny word of caution for you about meeting your son..........he may have something totally different in mind other then seeing his grandfather for who he is, or coming home to you. I have been disappointed in similar situations or blown out of the water with a whole new tactic. Bear in mind that your father also may be behind this. Your son may have told your father about your email and who knows what will happen next. </p><p></p><p>I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps do as COM does, make a plan of action. Decide to be silent and simply show up and be present with no preconceived ideas of what he is wanting to see you for. Try to be as unattached to the outcome as possible while you remain silent and allow him to do all the talking. If it is something completely off the wall devise an escape route. Cover all the bases so that you arrive prepared for anything. </p><p></p><p>One piece of guidance I utilize a lot is the Native American Four Fold way for conflict resolution. Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. Let go of the outcome. Use it as an opportunity to refrain from the usual talking you might do, the questions, the inquiries, the need to know and figure it out. I just went through a similar thing with my difficult child and my silence was empowering for me. I was not reactive nor was I cold and indifferent, I was simply present. It's challenging to do, but at least for me, it is better then the old responses.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have a wonderful lunch with husband. Wishing you a day of peace and comfort...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 621359, member: 13542"] BITS, just a teeny word of caution for you about meeting your son..........he may have something totally different in mind other then seeing his grandfather for who he is, or coming home to you. I have been disappointed in similar situations or blown out of the water with a whole new tactic. Bear in mind that your father also may be behind this. Your son may have told your father about your email and who knows what will happen next. I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps do as COM does, make a plan of action. Decide to be silent and simply show up and be present with no preconceived ideas of what he is wanting to see you for. Try to be as unattached to the outcome as possible while you remain silent and allow him to do all the talking. If it is something completely off the wall devise an escape route. Cover all the bases so that you arrive prepared for anything. One piece of guidance I utilize a lot is the Native American Four Fold way for conflict resolution. Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. Let go of the outcome. Use it as an opportunity to refrain from the usual talking you might do, the questions, the inquiries, the need to know and figure it out. I just went through a similar thing with my difficult child and my silence was empowering for me. I was not reactive nor was I cold and indifferent, I was simply present. It's challenging to do, but at least for me, it is better then the old responses. I hope you have a wonderful lunch with husband. Wishing you a day of peace and comfort........... [/QUOTE]
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