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wife struggling with detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="WhymeMom?" data-source="post: 174757" data-attributes="member: 53"><p>Okay, I hate to be so blunt, but.......until she realizes that everything she gives to difficult child will go toward alcohol your wife will not change things. Any amount of money will end up for booze. She may even sell the cigs for booze. The alcohol has a bigger control on difficult child than wife. If your difficult child had to get food rather than receive gifts from wife she might be diverted from alcohol, at least for a time......Just tell your wife that she is "in essence" giving difficult child alcohol.......</p><p>Your wife is probably thinking she still has some effect or can influence difficult child to stop.....SHE IS WRONG......difficult child has given control over to alcohol. Nothing and I repeat nothing wife does will change difficult child. Until wife faces that fact she will be spinning her wheels wondering what she (wife) can do to "help" difficult child and there is NOTHING to do until difficult child figures out she needs to change.......The hardest thing to do is nothing......</p><p>Hoping for her sake that wife can pull back from "helping" mode because she will take on blame if something happens to difficult child......it is undeserved blame because difficult child is making her own choices as sad as they are....</p><p>It will take time before your wife accepts SHE cannot change things, just as it will take time before difficult child will change......hoping you both can hold it together until that time arrives........thinking of you and your family as you travel this road........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WhymeMom?, post: 174757, member: 53"] Okay, I hate to be so blunt, but.......until she realizes that everything she gives to difficult child will go toward alcohol your wife will not change things. Any amount of money will end up for booze. She may even sell the cigs for booze. The alcohol has a bigger control on difficult child than wife. If your difficult child had to get food rather than receive gifts from wife she might be diverted from alcohol, at least for a time......Just tell your wife that she is "in essence" giving difficult child alcohol....... Your wife is probably thinking she still has some effect or can influence difficult child to stop.....SHE IS WRONG......difficult child has given control over to alcohol. Nothing and I repeat nothing wife does will change difficult child. Until wife faces that fact she will be spinning her wheels wondering what she (wife) can do to "help" difficult child and there is NOTHING to do until difficult child figures out she needs to change.......The hardest thing to do is nothing...... Hoping for her sake that wife can pull back from "helping" mode because she will take on blame if something happens to difficult child......it is undeserved blame because difficult child is making her own choices as sad as they are.... It will take time before your wife accepts SHE cannot change things, just as it will take time before difficult child will change......hoping you both can hold it together until that time arrives........thinking of you and your family as you travel this road........ [/QUOTE]
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wife struggling with detachment
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