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Will I ever be happy again?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 755717" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Oh how I remember those days!! I had a two year period when our son was still a teenager, when I would come home from work, as soon as I turned onto our street I would feel nauseous and anxious. I never knew what I would come home to. Here are some of the things I came home to; a hole about a foot wide in my bedroom door - we had to keep our room locked because our son was always stealing from us. One day, he took a hammer to our door and beat a huge hole in it to get inside so he could steal our small safe that had $3000 in it then ran away. Thankfully the police caught him and we got it back. One time I came home and he had taken a butcher knife and hacked away at my kitchen counters. When I asked him why he did that, he said it was because he couldn't find any money. There were many times I would come home and the house was ransacked because he was looking for money, drawers pulled out and dumped on the floor, lots of things broken. There were times he would run away and while my husband and I were at work, he would break into the house, broken windows and cut screens.</p><p>I totally understand your feeling of "what's around the corner"</p><p>What I can tell you is once he is out of your house your peace will return. I'll be honest, it takes some time. We as battle weary parents can suffer from PTSD. Recognize it for what it is. One of the best things you can do for yourself when he's gone is to make your home "your home". Rearrange the furniture, paint the walls, buy some new window coverings, buy a new picture or nick-nack, do something to freshen it up. Even just buying some fresh flowers can help! It's your home, your sanctuary. Let go of the negative vibes and fill it with good vibes.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I too used to feel that way. I was so far down the rabbit hole I didn't think I would ever find my way out. I'm living proof that yes, you can move on from this and be very happy. My son is 38 and still chooses to live a homeless lifestyle. I don't communicate with him very often. Sure, it's sad but I have come to accept it for what it is. My son is free to choose to live his life the way he wants. I don't have to like it but I do accept it. Just as he is free to live his life, so am I. I'm 57 and not getting any younger and I have made a choice to live my life the very best I can. I do what makes me happy.</p><p></p><p>I have no doubt that you too will overcome all of this. I'm so sorry you have to go through it but it will make you stronger. Even though you feel beat down, you have such strength!! Think about all that you have endured and you are still standing strong.</p><p></p><p>Practice self care always!!! Do one thing each day that is just for YOU!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 755717, member: 18516"] Oh how I remember those days!! I had a two year period when our son was still a teenager, when I would come home from work, as soon as I turned onto our street I would feel nauseous and anxious. I never knew what I would come home to. Here are some of the things I came home to; a hole about a foot wide in my bedroom door - we had to keep our room locked because our son was always stealing from us. One day, he took a hammer to our door and beat a huge hole in it to get inside so he could steal our small safe that had $3000 in it then ran away. Thankfully the police caught him and we got it back. One time I came home and he had taken a butcher knife and hacked away at my kitchen counters. When I asked him why he did that, he said it was because he couldn't find any money. There were many times I would come home and the house was ransacked because he was looking for money, drawers pulled out and dumped on the floor, lots of things broken. There were times he would run away and while my husband and I were at work, he would break into the house, broken windows and cut screens. I totally understand your feeling of "what's around the corner" What I can tell you is once he is out of your house your peace will return. I'll be honest, it takes some time. We as battle weary parents can suffer from PTSD. Recognize it for what it is. One of the best things you can do for yourself when he's gone is to make your home "your home". Rearrange the furniture, paint the walls, buy some new window coverings, buy a new picture or nick-nack, do something to freshen it up. Even just buying some fresh flowers can help! It's your home, your sanctuary. Let go of the negative vibes and fill it with good vibes. I too used to feel that way. I was so far down the rabbit hole I didn't think I would ever find my way out. I'm living proof that yes, you can move on from this and be very happy. My son is 38 and still chooses to live a homeless lifestyle. I don't communicate with him very often. Sure, it's sad but I have come to accept it for what it is. My son is free to choose to live his life the way he wants. I don't have to like it but I do accept it. Just as he is free to live his life, so am I. I'm 57 and not getting any younger and I have made a choice to live my life the very best I can. I do what makes me happy. I have no doubt that you too will overcome all of this. I'm so sorry you have to go through it but it will make you stronger. Even though you feel beat down, you have such strength!! Think about all that you have endured and you are still standing strong. Practice self care always!!! Do one thing each day that is just for YOU!! [/QUOTE]
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