Hi Echo. I am glad you checked in. Much of this is true for me, too, with my son:
My son is here with us. M is trying to teach him to work. It is very hard for me, because I let down my defenses, want him close, and then try to aspire for him, and it all falls apart worse, because he goes along with the program...yeah, yeah, yeah...until the lies emerge and all the other garbage that held it together, disintegrates and there is even a bigger mess.
He wants to do better, be better, live better, but....
M says I am a huge part of the problem because I impose what I want on him....how do you not want for a child?