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Wondering what I did! feeling suicidal again!
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 723338" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Welcome DS,</p><p>I am so sorry for your hurting heart. This is a very tough situation.</p><p> Not caring. I had to think about this one. That is really not the matter. We all <em>care </em>about our d cs, whether they are with us or not, be it mental health issues or drug addiction. I think our challenge is more <em>over</em> caring to the point that it may cause us to lack in the area of <em>self care</em>.</p><p>We become so embroiled and enmeshed in their circumstance, that we figuratively, eat, sleep (if the body allows) and drink in it.</p><p> It pervades our daily thoughts.</p><p>I think it gets to a point where our d cs look at us and see us in such a tormented state, they give it over to us.</p><p>We go through this stage of guilt, trying to figure out what we have done in the past, to bring their circumstance about.</p><p>It is a vicious cycle.</p><p></p><p> Nothing. We are all imperfect humans and could pick out many instances in raising our kids where we "shoulda, coulda, woulda.' The fact is, they grow up and come in to their own.</p><p> Please hold on to this DS.</p><p></p><p> We are all attention seekers, aren't we, from the moment we are born.</p><p> I think he is probably keenly aware of your <em>anxiousness</em> over this.</p><p>What if you were able to be calm and <em>focused on what you need?</em></p><p><em>That is what you ultimately wish for him to do, to focus on his needs to get healthy, get help.</em></p><p> I think we are our kids greatest models.</p><p>They react more to what we do, than what we say.</p><p>Especially young adults.</p><p>They go from adoring us as kids, to downright examining us as teens.</p><p>Self care, is not selfish.</p><p>Finding ways to protect yourself from going down into an abyss of intense emotion over your sons illness does not mean that<em> you don't care.</em></p><p>It means that you understand the fruitlessness of you going down along with him.</p><p>His depression must be very, very painful to witness. I am so sorry.</p><p>Try to draw back a bit, so that you can replenish yourself.</p><p>You are important, you matter.</p><p></p><p>LBL that was from Eckhart Tolle.</p><p></p><p>Reading about mindfulness and being in the present is interesting. It can seem rather "otherworldly" at times.</p><p>I think that this world we live in is so fast paced, add on our d cs and their drama, it becomes difficult to breath at times.</p><p></p><p>Anxiety and stress is so bad for our health, mind, body and spirit.</p><p>We all need to find ways to lift ourselves up.</p><p></p><p>I hope DS, you are able to find something to hold on to for your peace of mind.</p><p>Even if it is as simple as a nice warm bath, a cup of tea, a song that helps soothe your soul.</p><p>A walk.</p><p></p><p>Start with the small things.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs to you, and welcome.</p><p></p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 723338, member: 19522"] Welcome DS, I am so sorry for your hurting heart. This is a very tough situation. Not caring. I had to think about this one. That is really not the matter. We all [I]care [/I]about our d cs, whether they are with us or not, be it mental health issues or drug addiction. I think our challenge is more [I]over[/I] caring to the point that it may cause us to lack in the area of [I]self care[/I]. We become so embroiled and enmeshed in their circumstance, that we figuratively, eat, sleep (if the body allows) and drink in it. It pervades our daily thoughts. I think it gets to a point where our d cs look at us and see us in such a tormented state, they give it over to us. We go through this stage of guilt, trying to figure out what we have done in the past, to bring their circumstance about. It is a vicious cycle. Nothing. We are all imperfect humans and could pick out many instances in raising our kids where we "shoulda, coulda, woulda.' The fact is, they grow up and come in to their own. Please hold on to this DS. We are all attention seekers, aren't we, from the moment we are born. I think he is probably keenly aware of your [I]anxiousness[/I] over this. What if you were able to be calm and [I]focused on what you need? That is what you ultimately wish for him to do, to focus on his needs to get healthy, get help.[/I] I think we are our kids greatest models. They react more to what we do, than what we say. Especially young adults. They go from adoring us as kids, to downright examining us as teens. Self care, is not selfish. Finding ways to protect yourself from going down into an abyss of intense emotion over your sons illness does not mean that[I] you don't care.[/I] It means that you understand the fruitlessness of you going down along with him. His depression must be very, very painful to witness. I am so sorry. Try to draw back a bit, so that you can replenish yourself. You are important, you matter. LBL that was from Eckhart Tolle. Reading about mindfulness and being in the present is interesting. It can seem rather "otherworldly" at times. I think that this world we live in is so fast paced, add on our d cs and their drama, it becomes difficult to breath at times. Anxiety and stress is so bad for our health, mind, body and spirit. We all need to find ways to lift ourselves up. I hope DS, you are able to find something to hold on to for your peace of mind. Even if it is as simple as a nice warm bath, a cup of tea, a song that helps soothe your soul. A walk. Start with the small things. Warm hugs to you, and welcome. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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