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Substance Abuse
Wondering... Why did he steal from friends?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 538401" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>That part I do get and that is what I have been thinking last year and a half after he was caught steeling and all this came up. But why did he chose to steal the way he did. I mean, he basically had two choices: </p><p></p><p>a) Steal from friends, small gain, high risk, almost 100 % over time, to get caught, huge practical and emotional consequences when caught, huge, huge shame even while doing it</p><p>or</p><p>b) Shoplift, more non-personal, smaller risk to get caught, minimal consequences compared to option a, higher gain</p><p></p><p>And he chose a. If I had been my difficult child, I would never had chosen a, because it just makes no sense. And while my son was addicted, he was not under influence of drugs or alcohol that could explain the sheer stupidity of that. Not that I'm sorry he chose option a. As hurtful as it has been, as long as he will be paying a price from that choice (and it will be long, it is not fun to be a pro-athlete when everyone and their cousins know you have been stealing from your team mates), as awful as the fallout was, I'm still happy he chose a. Because if he had chosen b, I'm afraid he would still be gambling, be deeply in debt and really ruined his life by now. Consequences of choosinf option b would maybe not had been so severe that his life really ended up to full stop. And full stop was needed. After that he has been doing surprisingly well in recovery. He is motivated, he really tries and works hard. He has had only two relapses and they have been really short (other one night and another two nights) and it is already a year from the last one. He has been gaining back his old standings and he is doing better in every aspect of his life than maybe ever before. There is still awfully lot work to be done, but even now he has made me one proud mommy. </p><p></p><p>So I'm grateful he did choose the option a. But it still doesn't make sense to me. Did he try to be as hurtful as possible? Or what?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 538401, member: 14557"] That part I do get and that is what I have been thinking last year and a half after he was caught steeling and all this came up. But why did he chose to steal the way he did. I mean, he basically had two choices: a) Steal from friends, small gain, high risk, almost 100 % over time, to get caught, huge practical and emotional consequences when caught, huge, huge shame even while doing it or b) Shoplift, more non-personal, smaller risk to get caught, minimal consequences compared to option a, higher gain And he chose a. If I had been my difficult child, I would never had chosen a, because it just makes no sense. And while my son was addicted, he was not under influence of drugs or alcohol that could explain the sheer stupidity of that. Not that I'm sorry he chose option a. As hurtful as it has been, as long as he will be paying a price from that choice (and it will be long, it is not fun to be a pro-athlete when everyone and their cousins know you have been stealing from your team mates), as awful as the fallout was, I'm still happy he chose a. Because if he had chosen b, I'm afraid he would still be gambling, be deeply in debt and really ruined his life by now. Consequences of choosinf option b would maybe not had been so severe that his life really ended up to full stop. And full stop was needed. After that he has been doing surprisingly well in recovery. He is motivated, he really tries and works hard. He has had only two relapses and they have been really short (other one night and another two nights) and it is already a year from the last one. He has been gaining back his old standings and he is doing better in every aspect of his life than maybe ever before. There is still awfully lot work to be done, but even now he has made me one proud mommy. So I'm grateful he did choose the option a. But it still doesn't make sense to me. Did he try to be as hurtful as possible? Or what? [/QUOTE]
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Wondering... Why did he steal from friends?
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