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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 28699" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Kathy,</p><p>I am also 52 and I do the same thing! I think of my mom and how nothing I do is a reflection on her. I also think of how I was as a 17 yr old and the dumb things I did and how I was not giving my mother a second thought except maybe to be sure she didn't find out what I was doing!</p><p></p><p>You and Janet both gave excellent advice, so true. They are now adults and we did the best we could. Also, it isn't even fair to them to not let them own their own lives--it is a burden to have to live your life trying to meet someone else's expectations or trying to please someone else all the time. My best friend's mother is so attached to her and invested in her life that my friend feels smothered. I have always appreciated that my own mother made it clear that she was her own person and her happiness did not depend on me or my siblings and whether we were successful or not, happy or not, etc. She is a very caring person but I don't have to worry that when my life is not so great that she will be miserable because of it. </p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 28699, member: 3450"] Kathy, I am also 52 and I do the same thing! I think of my mom and how nothing I do is a reflection on her. I also think of how I was as a 17 yr old and the dumb things I did and how I was not giving my mother a second thought except maybe to be sure she didn't find out what I was doing! You and Janet both gave excellent advice, so true. They are now adults and we did the best we could. Also, it isn't even fair to them to not let them own their own lives--it is a burden to have to live your life trying to meet someone else's expectations or trying to please someone else all the time. My best friend's mother is so attached to her and invested in her life that my friend feels smothered. I have always appreciated that my own mother made it clear that she was her own person and her happiness did not depend on me or my siblings and whether we were successful or not, happy or not, etc. She is a very caring person but I don't have to worry that when my life is not so great that she will be miserable because of it. Jane [/QUOTE]
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