I'm another one who looks at my own relationship with my Mom and grandma for guidance with my grown kids. And it really does help to view it that way.
What I do or say now is no reflection on who raised me. I am a seperate being with my own mind, intelligence, and will. It was up to me to follow the path I was taught as a child. And so I look at it that way with my own kids.
You have a right to the way you feel. And you also have a right to be happy. You may not want to believe what you're feeling is depression. And maybe it isn't. But I can tell you that I felt pretty much the same way you're describing when I was depressed. And you're right, it is he-- on earth. Depression distorts our view on what is going on around us.
I hope you go to the doctor and ask for help with the way your feeling. You deserve to be happy, Jen.
(((((hugs))))))
