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Words Cannot Begin To Describe
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 28914" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Jen, are you raising the two year old until Mom returns?</p><p></p><p>And is your daughter's husband living with you, too?</p><p></p><p></p><p> :whew:</p><p></p><p></p><p>Now, here is something interesting. MY mother very much reflects and takes her sense of self, negatively or positively, based on how the lives of her children are going. It is the same with her sisters, my aunts. </p><p></p><p>And then? There is this kind of competition between my mother and her sisters.</p><p></p><p></p><p>When we brought our daughter in for the first time, my mother's immediate comment was "Well (long and drawn out)...I guess you weren't such a good mother after all, were you."</p><p></p><p>It was a devastating comment for a mother to make in that situation, and it set the tone for all the years to come. What I said was that no, I must not have been a good mother, of course. </p><p></p><p>Anyone recognize that from my posts?!? :hammer:</p><p></p><p>Jen, what did your mother say or seem to think about what was happening to your children?</p><p></p><p>Is that what is fueling this sense of hopelessness now?</p><p></p><p>Is whether or not our mothers took their senses of self from our accomplishments (good or bad) the difference between those of us who cannot seem to shake the depression that attends having difficult child children and those of us able to gain perspective and move on?</p><p></p><p>This is an incredible post, Jen ~ and for me, it could not have come at a better time.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 28914, member: 3353"] Jen, are you raising the two year old until Mom returns? And is your daughter's husband living with you, too? [img]:whew:[/img] Now, here is something interesting. MY mother very much reflects and takes her sense of self, negatively or positively, based on how the lives of her children are going. It is the same with her sisters, my aunts. And then? There is this kind of competition between my mother and her sisters. When we brought our daughter in for the first time, my mother's immediate comment was "Well (long and drawn out)...I guess you weren't such a good mother after all, were you." It was a devastating comment for a mother to make in that situation, and it set the tone for all the years to come. What I said was that no, I must not have been a good mother, of course. Anyone recognize that from my posts?!? [img]:hammer:[/img] Jen, what did your mother say or seem to think about what was happening to your children? Is that what is fueling this sense of hopelessness now? Is whether or not our mothers took their senses of self from our accomplishments (good or bad) the difference between those of us who cannot seem to shake the depression that attends having difficult child children and those of us able to gain perspective and move on? This is an incredible post, Jen ~ and for me, it could not have come at a better time. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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