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Family of Origin
Work and Germany: Abandonment
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674683" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>What you write, Insane, reminds me of something about M. He always remarks when I boast and tells me, that is for others to say, not you. So, when he complements me, I am hugely pleased. He tends to do so mainly when I act from integrity. Like in my work ethic.</p><p></p><p>I think I am focused inward, on my feelings and myself. I know that sounds egocentric but I have lived alone almost my whole life. I mean, in my interior life.</p><p></p><p>Nobody in my family of origin ever really considered how I felt. I don't feel mad about that. Or cheated. It was just the way it was. So, I had to do it myself. And I find myself pretty interesting. </p><p></p><p>M would find this to be boasting. Oh well.</p><p></p><p>I have a hard time putting others first, but I try. I am thinking now if this is true. Because I have always put myself right up there. How he feels. How he is. So, maybe I am being hard on myself.</p><p></p><p>In my work I am almost selfless. What is pretty interesting when I think about it. Because I love my work. When I work. And take enormous pride in doing it well. </p><p></p><p>So that does not seem to mesh. Egocentric but loving work that focuses completely on others. The only way I understand it is that I focus on others using myself, through myself. If that makes sense.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674683, member: 18958"] What you write, Insane, reminds me of something about M. He always remarks when I boast and tells me, that is for others to say, not you. So, when he complements me, I am hugely pleased. He tends to do so mainly when I act from integrity. Like in my work ethic. I think I am focused inward, on my feelings and myself. I know that sounds egocentric but I have lived alone almost my whole life. I mean, in my interior life. Nobody in my family of origin ever really considered how I felt. I don't feel mad about that. Or cheated. It was just the way it was. So, I had to do it myself. And I find myself pretty interesting. M would find this to be boasting. Oh well. I have a hard time putting others first, but I try. I am thinking now if this is true. Because I have always put myself right up there. How he feels. How he is. So, maybe I am being hard on myself. In my work I am almost selfless. What is pretty interesting when I think about it. Because I love my work. When I work. And take enormous pride in doing it well. So that does not seem to mesh. Egocentric but loving work that focuses completely on others. The only way I understand it is that I focus on others using myself, through myself. If that makes sense. COPA [/QUOTE]
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