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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 673777" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>This is good work, Cedar, thank you.</p><p></p><p>I think too, we abandon ourselves in many ways.</p><p>Due to how we emerged from our FOO.</p><p>This examination I have done, was not to blame seek, </p><p>I want to understand the root of the matter. </p><p>Why did I develop such low self esteem? </p><p>I have had a wonderful productive, amazing life,</p><p> but underneath it all, was low self esteem.</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]dfKnga-a-7Q[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I did not matter enough. Negative self talk.</p><p> Nothing was ever perfect enough. </p><p>Even my art work, </p><p>harsh inner critic be damned. </p><p>I abandoned myself.</p><p>It is a destructive cycle.</p><p>Abandonment.</p><p>I constantly abandoned myself, not only with a devastatingly critical inner voice, </p><p>but in over doing, for others.</p><p>Then, came my d cs, and their own self destructive behavior.</p><p>Addiction.</p><p>We tried desperately to help.</p><p>It didn't work.</p><p>Did we abandon ourselves enabling, trying to figure out how to fix this? </p><p>I lost myself in this, too.</p><p>Then, did they abandon our efforts, abandon us through their addiction?</p><p></p><p>Have we been abandoned by our children?</p><p>They were meant to grow wings and fly.</p><p>Addiction.</p><p></p><p>Have they abandoned themselves?</p><p>Addiction. </p><p>The craving for the high, the resulting destructive tendencies.</p><p>Abandonment.</p><p> Self.</p><p>Replaced an integral part of themselves, with drugs, </p><p>or outlandish theories, whatever the case, </p><p>they are not living the lives we had envisioned for them.</p><p></p><p>They abandoned our hopes and dreams for them.</p><p>They abandoned themselves.</p><p></p><p>It is very complex, yet sort of simple.</p><p>I see a cyclical ailment.</p><p>In ourselves and in our d cs.</p><p>So, how did I produce offspring who are doing okay?</p><p></p><p>Then it comes back to self.</p><p>They are doing okay, </p><p>because they are okay within themselves.</p><p></p><p>I think Copa got it right, when she focused on love as key.</p><p></p><p>Love is the key.</p><p></p><p>Loving ourselves, the way God intended us to. </p><p>Not a selfish, self serving love.</p><p></p><p>It is the love that keeps us striving and searching for our spark, our meaning and joy, </p><p>in spite of external incidences, even with our own children. </p><p></p><p>It is love that has to be the driving force behind everything. </p><p></p><p>Love inhaled and exhaled.</p><p></p><p>Love.</p><p>vs.</p><p>Abandonment.</p><p></p><p>Love wins.</p><p></p><p>You ladies are beautiful.</p><p></p><p>Thank you very much Cedar.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 673777, member: 19522"] This is good work, Cedar, thank you. I think too, we abandon ourselves in many ways. Due to how we emerged from our FOO. This examination I have done, was not to blame seek, I want to understand the root of the matter. Why did I develop such low self esteem? I have had a wonderful productive, amazing life, but underneath it all, was low self esteem. [MEDIA=youtube]dfKnga-a-7Q[/MEDIA] I did not matter enough. Negative self talk. Nothing was ever perfect enough. Even my art work, harsh inner critic be damned. I abandoned myself. It is a destructive cycle. Abandonment. I constantly abandoned myself, not only with a devastatingly critical inner voice, but in over doing, for others. Then, came my d cs, and their own self destructive behavior. Addiction. We tried desperately to help. It didn't work. Did we abandon ourselves enabling, trying to figure out how to fix this? I lost myself in this, too. Then, did they abandon our efforts, abandon us through their addiction? Have we been abandoned by our children? They were meant to grow wings and fly. Addiction. Have they abandoned themselves? Addiction. The craving for the high, the resulting destructive tendencies. Abandonment. Self. Replaced an integral part of themselves, with drugs, or outlandish theories, whatever the case, they are not living the lives we had envisioned for them. They abandoned our hopes and dreams for them. They abandoned themselves. It is very complex, yet sort of simple. I see a cyclical ailment. In ourselves and in our d cs. So, how did I produce offspring who are doing okay? Then it comes back to self. They are doing okay, because they are okay within themselves. I think Copa got it right, when she focused on love as key. Love is the key. Loving ourselves, the way God intended us to. Not a selfish, self serving love. It is the love that keeps us striving and searching for our spark, our meaning and joy, in spite of external incidences, even with our own children. It is love that has to be the driving force behind everything. Love inhaled and exhaled. Love. vs. Abandonment. Love wins. You ladies are beautiful. Thank you very much Cedar. :hugs: leafy [/QUOTE]
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Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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