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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 674074" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I read mystery novels to relax. Last night I was reading about a father whose son was murdered. The father was portrayed as having lost <em>his own future</em>. Of the times he would have enjoyed with his son. Of the carrying on of his name (this was his only child) Of grandchildren. Of the infinite possibilities that come from our children carrying on our spirits and legacy, ourselves. The loss in us in the belief in the potential of our children, takes away from us our sense of an infinite future. Rightly or wrongly, this is a blow that we need to confront and surmount.</p><p></p><p>We downplay it. We see the loss as for them, or in our relationship with them. There is way more. We are in the process of dying. The only real future we have is through our children.</p><p>One of the things we are in the process of doing, I think,is trying to recast this loss into something else. Finding a generativity in ourselves, an understanding of life of humanity that is bigger than our own immediate experience. And beginning to live through and for this, instead of our own individual experience.</p><p>This is fascinating, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>The Jewish people did not have their own land for thousands of years. And in many lands where they lived as outcasts they were prohibited from owning land.That loss led to a cultural flowering and a great humanity and empathy.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>This is very interesting to me. This rising up in goodness, in response to their own victimization. </p><p>Yes. I do not know much about Hawaiians, despite my brother's heritage.</p><p></p><p>I know something about mainland Natives. The alcoholism, drug use, domestic violence and other problems of the reservation speak to the possibility of self-contempt and self-hatred that may have been internalized just as we have internalized self-destructiveness in response to our treatment as children.</p><p></p><p>I believe that each of us has internalized the values of empathy and kindness <em>for others</em>. At the expense of ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Yes. I believe this too.</p><p>Chanting down Babylon <em>in ourselves</em>.</p><p></p><p>Thank you New Leaf.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 674074, member: 18958"] I read mystery novels to relax. Last night I was reading about a father whose son was murdered. The father was portrayed as having lost [I]his own future[/I]. Of the times he would have enjoyed with his son. Of the carrying on of his name (this was his only child) Of grandchildren. Of the infinite possibilities that come from our children carrying on our spirits and legacy, ourselves. The loss in us in the belief in the potential of our children, takes away from us our sense of an infinite future. Rightly or wrongly, this is a blow that we need to confront and surmount. We downplay it. We see the loss as for them, or in our relationship with them. There is way more. We are in the process of dying. The only real future we have is through our children. One of the things we are in the process of doing, I think,is trying to recast this loss into something else. Finding a generativity in ourselves, an understanding of life of humanity that is bigger than our own immediate experience. And beginning to live through and for this, instead of our own individual experience. This is fascinating, Leafy. The Jewish people did not have their own land for thousands of years. And in many lands where they lived as outcasts they were prohibited from owning land.That loss led to a cultural flowering and a great humanity and empathy. Yes. This is very interesting to me. This rising up in goodness, in response to their own victimization. Yes. I do not know much about Hawaiians, despite my brother's heritage. I know something about mainland Natives. The alcoholism, drug use, domestic violence and other problems of the reservation speak to the possibility of self-contempt and self-hatred that may have been internalized just as we have internalized self-destructiveness in response to our treatment as children. I believe that each of us has internalized the values of empathy and kindness [I]for others[/I]. At the expense of ourselves. Yes. I believe this too. Chanting down Babylon [I]in ourselves[/I]. Thank you New Leaf. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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