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Family of Origin
Work and Germany Part II: Abandonment Recovery
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 674159" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I watched the videos, Leafy. They were beautiful, and I am honored to have seen them. </p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>I have not seen the greeting where men touch foreheads and then, hug. I have not heard sadness described as it was in Iz video, as seeing the tears in <em>one another's </em>eyes. The voice of the woman in the second video seemed to have been threaded into the wind. It was soothing and poignant and mesmerizing, even. The clouds coming down....</p><p></p><p>Thank you for this beautiful gift.</p><p></p><p>(I turned it off when the man began to rock rap. Maybe tomorrow, now that I know he is going to disturb me while the clouds are coming down, I will watch past that part. Maybe, that will be their anger, too. The way it feels to have been threaded into the wind like that and to have had their culture rudely disrupted.</p><p></p><p>The dancing was magical.</p><p></p><p>I have only seen hula the way they do it for tourists.</p><p></p><p>I had no idea.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had something as lovely to return to you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how to surmount it, Copa. The anger beneath this knowledge fueled that contemptuous way I was seeing my son and even, my daughter too, because they were not the adults, and mine was not the life, I had envisioned in my imaginings, or in the choices I made in their best interests instead of my own. That future we are so sure they will take into both hands and run with is part of why we stay so firmly tied in to enabling. It isn't only their futures they are destroying. They are changing what might have been for all of us into what will be, by their will.</p><p></p><p>I think so often about the Kennedy family, and about their daughter Rose, who was mentally ill. The father Joseph had her lobotomized. The surgery was a terrible failure. (The surgeon, so I have learned, went on to perform other lobotomies. There is evidence that for some, the lobotomy was helpful.) In any event, the Kennedy family went on to change things for all of us ~ for those directly affected, and for all of us, in the changed way we now more fully understand valuing living beings. </p><p></p><p>I keep thinking about that, everyone. About how their misfortune changed the world for all of us.</p><p></p><p>Happy Hour here, everybody.</p><p></p><p>Have a good night.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 674159, member: 17461"] I watched the videos, Leafy. They were beautiful, and I am honored to have seen them. Thank you. I have not seen the greeting where men touch foreheads and then, hug. I have not heard sadness described as it was in Iz video, as seeing the tears in [I]one another's [/I]eyes. The voice of the woman in the second video seemed to have been threaded into the wind. It was soothing and poignant and mesmerizing, even. The clouds coming down.... Thank you for this beautiful gift. (I turned it off when the man began to rock rap. Maybe tomorrow, now that I know he is going to disturb me while the clouds are coming down, I will watch past that part. Maybe, that will be their anger, too. The way it feels to have been threaded into the wind like that and to have had their culture rudely disrupted. The dancing was magical. I have only seen hula the way they do it for tourists. I had no idea. I wish I had something as lovely to return to you. Yes. I don't know how to surmount it, Copa. The anger beneath this knowledge fueled that contemptuous way I was seeing my son and even, my daughter too, because they were not the adults, and mine was not the life, I had envisioned in my imaginings, or in the choices I made in their best interests instead of my own. That future we are so sure they will take into both hands and run with is part of why we stay so firmly tied in to enabling. It isn't only their futures they are destroying. They are changing what might have been for all of us into what will be, by their will. I think so often about the Kennedy family, and about their daughter Rose, who was mentally ill. The father Joseph had her lobotomized. The surgery was a terrible failure. (The surgeon, so I have learned, went on to perform other lobotomies. There is evidence that for some, the lobotomy was helpful.) In any event, the Kennedy family went on to change things for all of us ~ for those directly affected, and for all of us, in the changed way we now more fully understand valuing living beings. I keep thinking about that, everyone. About how their misfortune changed the world for all of us. Happy Hour here, everybody. Have a good night. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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