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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 313833" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p><strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #c20000"><strong>Work Tools Explained </strong></span></span></span></strong></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>DRILL PRESS: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>WIRE WHEEL: </strong></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh poop'!!</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>SKILL SAW: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. </span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>PLIERS: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>BELT SANDER: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>HACKSAW: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>VISE-GRIPS: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>OXYACETYLENE TORCH: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>TABLE SAW: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screwheads.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>PRY BAR:</strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"> A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>HOSE CUTTER: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">A tool used to make hoses too short.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>HAMMER: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>UTILITY KNIFE: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.</span></span></p><p> </p><p> <strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf"><strong>SON-OF-A-GUN TOOL: </strong></span></span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0021bf">Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a gun' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 313833, member: 7083"] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=#c20000][B]Work Tools Explained [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]DRILL PRESS: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]WIRE WHEEL: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh poop'!![/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]SKILL SAW: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]PLIERS: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]BELT SANDER: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]HACKSAW: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]VISE-GRIPS: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]OXYACETYLENE TORCH: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race..[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]TABLE SAW: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screwheads.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]PRY BAR:[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf] A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]HOSE CUTTER: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]A tool used to make hoses too short.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]HAMMER: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]UTILITY KNIFE: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf][B]SON-OF-A-GUN TOOL: [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][SIZE=4][COLOR=#0021bf]Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a gun' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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