Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Working really hard to not be angry at my son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 260805" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>My 2 cents (and my difficult child 1 has similar impulse control issues):</p><p> </p><p>1. Revoke ALL online access with the computer for him. For a MONTH. If you don't have a way to password protect your computer, find a way to get the software so that you CAN. There needs to be a consequence that he will understand.</p><p> </p><p>2. Close the Paypal account and the Runescape account. (My difficult child 1 is addicted to this as well -- his friend plays it with him.)</p><p> </p><p>3. Request a new debit card. Write down which online accounts you have set up for automatic payment with your old one before you cancel the card and temporarily stop the automatic payments. It's a pain to have to do this, I know. But the pain of having your checking account drained and being dinged for overdrafts is much more painful in my opinion.</p><p> </p><p>4. Never EVER allow difficult child to have access to your credit/debit cards again. EVER. If he wants you to buy something for him online again, YOU must do it for him. Or not. You are not obligated to provide this service at all.</p><p> </p><p>You have to proceed under the assumption that this WILL happen again. You have the right to be angry AND hurt, and he needs to understand the impact his choices have made on someone close to him. He STOLE from you. He HURT you. Maybe if they are put into simplistic terms like that he will get the message. </p><p> </p><p>We had difficult child 1 stealing money from our wallets about a year ago, and then lying about where it came from. The therapist I took him to really focused on personalizing what he did to us and got him thinking about the emotions and feelings he caused because of what he did. That seemed to sink in more than the moralizing about it. </p><p> </p><p>It's a lousy feeling to have when your difficult child violates a boundary like this. It's good you are trying to be calm about it -- I know that the more my difficult child is anxious about something, the faster he buries his head in the sand and refuses to deal with it honestly. It's hard to not yell when you are royally ticked, but you will be more effective with what you are trying to teach if you can remain calm.</p><p> </p><p>(((((HUGS)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 260805, member: 3444"] My 2 cents (and my difficult child 1 has similar impulse control issues): 1. Revoke ALL online access with the computer for him. For a MONTH. If you don't have a way to password protect your computer, find a way to get the software so that you CAN. There needs to be a consequence that he will understand. 2. Close the Paypal account and the Runescape account. (My difficult child 1 is addicted to this as well -- his friend plays it with him.) 3. Request a new debit card. Write down which online accounts you have set up for automatic payment with your old one before you cancel the card and temporarily stop the automatic payments. It's a pain to have to do this, I know. But the pain of having your checking account drained and being dinged for overdrafts is much more painful in my opinion. 4. Never EVER allow difficult child to have access to your credit/debit cards again. EVER. If he wants you to buy something for him online again, YOU must do it for him. Or not. You are not obligated to provide this service at all. You have to proceed under the assumption that this WILL happen again. You have the right to be angry AND hurt, and he needs to understand the impact his choices have made on someone close to him. He STOLE from you. He HURT you. Maybe if they are put into simplistic terms like that he will get the message. We had difficult child 1 stealing money from our wallets about a year ago, and then lying about where it came from. The therapist I took him to really focused on personalizing what he did to us and got him thinking about the emotions and feelings he caused because of what he did. That seemed to sink in more than the moralizing about it. It's a lousy feeling to have when your difficult child violates a boundary like this. It's good you are trying to be calm about it -- I know that the more my difficult child is anxious about something, the faster he buries his head in the sand and refuses to deal with it honestly. It's hard to not yell when you are royally ticked, but you will be more effective with what you are trying to teach if you can remain calm. (((((HUGS))))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Working really hard to not be angry at my son
Top