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Working really hard to not be angry at my son
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 261006" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Just because the computer is needed for work does NOT mean difficult child needs access to it. You can get various ways to lock him out, or just take the keyboard adn mouse away when YOU are not using it. Or move it into your bedroom so he CANNOT get to it. </p><p></p><p>You also need to make sure that easy child knows in the future to not put the card anywhere but into your hand if he does a favor that he needs it for. </p><p></p><p>I would cancel/revoke the runescape account. We did this with a number of different games through the years when Wiz would pull something like this or he would get to the point he would play the game and refuse to do schoolwork or homework. Part of getting to play games was always having to have good grades. No grades, no games, no discussion. </p><p></p><p>Cancel the paypal, but don't think that difficult child won't set up another paypal acct. You just need the card that is not tied to an acct and an email addy. So if you close the paypal acct he can use the card (and he problem has the number memorized or written down) to start another acct. It would be easier to get the paypal acct password from difficult child and change it to something he can't hack easily. And do NOT write it down!!!</p><p></p><p>I think it is awesome that you haven't yelled at him. I know it was so HARD not to when Wiz was doing this kind of stuff. Be PROUD of yourself!!</p><p></p><p>For us even telling Wiz how much his actions hurt, and not trusting him for a fairly long period of time made NO impact on his behavior. The ONLY thing that finally got him to stop was charging him TWICE the amt that he stole from us. So if it was $100, he had to pay us back $200. I KNOW it sounds extreme. We did EVERYTHING we could think of other than this. But this was the ONLY way it got through to Wiz. because he looked at future uses as though he was just taking his own $$ out of the bank. But he wouldn't take out his own $$, and if we loaned him $$ for something he asked us for he would have major tantrums about repaying us. No matter that it was to repay a loan, he ALWAYS told us and everyone else that we were STEALING from him if he had to pay us back for something we bought for him. (Yeah, I just HAD to have that pack of pokemon cards or that computer game. Sure I did.)</p><p></p><p>So when we found him stealing from us we told him that he had to pay us interest. He knew what it was (had been charging Jessie interest for YEARS on things she borrowed - like his books!). It wasn't until he had 2 MAJOR amounts of $$ and had to pay us back twice the amount by taking out the $$ from the bank and putting CASH into our hands that he stopped stealing. </p><p></p><p>I really think you need to put some key locks on doors to your bedroom and to whatever room the computer is in. Then don't let the keys be anywhere but on your person or husband's person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 261006, member: 1233"] Just because the computer is needed for work does NOT mean difficult child needs access to it. You can get various ways to lock him out, or just take the keyboard adn mouse away when YOU are not using it. Or move it into your bedroom so he CANNOT get to it. You also need to make sure that easy child knows in the future to not put the card anywhere but into your hand if he does a favor that he needs it for. I would cancel/revoke the runescape account. We did this with a number of different games through the years when Wiz would pull something like this or he would get to the point he would play the game and refuse to do schoolwork or homework. Part of getting to play games was always having to have good grades. No grades, no games, no discussion. Cancel the paypal, but don't think that difficult child won't set up another paypal acct. You just need the card that is not tied to an acct and an email addy. So if you close the paypal acct he can use the card (and he problem has the number memorized or written down) to start another acct. It would be easier to get the paypal acct password from difficult child and change it to something he can't hack easily. And do NOT write it down!!! I think it is awesome that you haven't yelled at him. I know it was so HARD not to when Wiz was doing this kind of stuff. Be PROUD of yourself!! For us even telling Wiz how much his actions hurt, and not trusting him for a fairly long period of time made NO impact on his behavior. The ONLY thing that finally got him to stop was charging him TWICE the amt that he stole from us. So if it was $100, he had to pay us back $200. I KNOW it sounds extreme. We did EVERYTHING we could think of other than this. But this was the ONLY way it got through to Wiz. because he looked at future uses as though he was just taking his own $$ out of the bank. But he wouldn't take out his own $$, and if we loaned him $$ for something he asked us for he would have major tantrums about repaying us. No matter that it was to repay a loan, he ALWAYS told us and everyone else that we were STEALING from him if he had to pay us back for something we bought for him. (Yeah, I just HAD to have that pack of pokemon cards or that computer game. Sure I did.) So when we found him stealing from us we told him that he had to pay us interest. He knew what it was (had been charging Jessie interest for YEARS on things she borrowed - like his books!). It wasn't until he had 2 MAJOR amounts of $$ and had to pay us back twice the amount by taking out the $$ from the bank and putting CASH into our hands that he stopped stealing. I really think you need to put some key locks on doors to your bedroom and to whatever room the computer is in. Then don't let the keys be anywhere but on your person or husband's person. [/QUOTE]
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