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worried about 22 year old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 710041" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>An adult child wanting no autonomy, wanting to hang with us rather than peers and wanting us to know their every thought is not normal or healthy. We raise them to stand on their own. If they do, it is a sigh of relief. Many adult kids here on this forum are drug addicts, high scjool dropouts or mentally ill. They want us to take care of them sometimes even in their 50s. Be glad your daughter does not feel helplessly dependent on you. Its a gift!</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is the only one who can and needs to decide when/if she loses weight. You cant nag her into it. It will put distance between you if you do. My daughter gained weight in college. She is still hsppy and thriving and is pre-engaged to a wonderful young man. You cant stop your adult daugter from bumps and bruises. That is life for all of us. We dont want our adult kids to go through bad things we dod, but we cant stop it. It is now their lessons to learn; they learn to deal with life their way.</p><p></p><p>You have a lovely daughter who is working at a full time job that will sistain her, knows not to use drugs or break the law, and wants independence. You have a daughter who is doing life right.</p><p></p><p>As mothers we tend to over react and try to fix their problems. Often our grown kids dont want Mom drama so they prefer to tell calmer peers their problems. If we stay calm and non judgmental when they come to us, and listen rather than spout our ideas of solutuins, I feel they may come to us more. But they still often believe, rightly so, that peers better understand their problems due to their same ages, growing up in the same generation and ability to not get too emotional. And peers tend not to judge them.</p><p></p><p>I found my girls will come to me when they need me. My boys too actually. Some problems are best given to peers. Our kids know which is which.</p><p></p><p>Congratulations on a wonderful daughter. Enjoy her!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 710041, member: 1550"] An adult child wanting no autonomy, wanting to hang with us rather than peers and wanting us to know their every thought is not normal or healthy. We raise them to stand on their own. If they do, it is a sigh of relief. Many adult kids here on this forum are drug addicts, high scjool dropouts or mentally ill. They want us to take care of them sometimes even in their 50s. Be glad your daughter does not feel helplessly dependent on you. Its a gift! Your daughter is the only one who can and needs to decide when/if she loses weight. You cant nag her into it. It will put distance between you if you do. My daughter gained weight in college. She is still hsppy and thriving and is pre-engaged to a wonderful young man. You cant stop your adult daugter from bumps and bruises. That is life for all of us. We dont want our adult kids to go through bad things we dod, but we cant stop it. It is now their lessons to learn; they learn to deal with life their way. You have a lovely daughter who is working at a full time job that will sistain her, knows not to use drugs or break the law, and wants independence. You have a daughter who is doing life right. As mothers we tend to over react and try to fix their problems. Often our grown kids dont want Mom drama so they prefer to tell calmer peers their problems. If we stay calm and non judgmental when they come to us, and listen rather than spout our ideas of solutuins, I feel they may come to us more. But they still often believe, rightly so, that peers better understand their problems due to their same ages, growing up in the same generation and ability to not get too emotional. And peers tend not to judge them. I found my girls will come to me when they need me. My boys too actually. Some problems are best given to peers. Our kids know which is which. Congratulations on a wonderful daughter. Enjoy her! [/QUOTE]
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worried about 22 year old daughter
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