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worried about threat co-worker made to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 116630" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>WW, I have no doubt the experience was terrifying. I know I would have felt very threatened also. But in the cold light of day, I think he is done. He said what he wanted to say, he is a bully who threatens rather than the sort who says nothing and then lies in wait.</p><p></p><p>Most of the people who issue threats never carry them out. The very act of saying threatening things, especially in a situation like this where it is acute, rather than chronic, is often enough for them to feel more satisfied, having spread their little brand of poison around. "I've succeeded in making you feel bad, now I'm satisfied and can move on."</p><p></p><p>This was an acute situation. He was on the carpet, getting fired. You were not even the focus, you were just in the room. He will never be in that room again, professionally speaking. He is gone. </p><p></p><p>If, on the other hand, you were dealing with a neighbour whose response to you politely asking him to turn down the stereo resulted with him threatening you with a gun, THAT is a chronic situation. Your chance of a repeat encounter is much higher. And even there, you could avoid a repeat encounter by putting up with the loud stereo, or simply calling the police to enforce the peace.</p><p></p><p>Back to your workplace - this creep got fired, probably with good cause (judging from his response). Chances are he antagonises enough people in his day to day life, that you are only the latest in a long line of people he has threatened THIS WEEK. He probably utters threats as easily (and thoughtlessly) as breathing. He's probably already forgotten, moved on to find another job and is probably already saying things like, "I'm so glad I'm out of there, I'm much better off in this new job," even if he is not. He sounds like someone who re-writes the story constantly, to make himself look good in his own eyes and to make himself seem like the big tough man.</p><p></p><p>In reality, blokes like that are wimps. Big talk, no action because "it's beneath them" (and they're really cowards).</p><p></p><p>If he seriously intended harm, he wouldn't have made his threats so obvious (or maybe even at all).</p><p></p><p>You were scared at the time - I would have been too. But I seriously believe he is gone. </p><p></p><p>The police know of the threats. If he has half a brain (which is maybe in question) then he would know the police would have been told. So if ANYTHING happens to you or the ASM, even if it's a total accident, the police will be knocking on his door before anyone else's. A bloke like him, who makes threats so readily - he would know this, because undoubtedly the police have knocked on his door before.</p><p></p><p>He's gone, I'm sure of it. But if you are nervous and can't find pepper spray, there are other precautions you can take. We are not allowed to carry weapons in Sydney, I think pepper spray is banned here, so here is what I do:</p><p></p><p>1) Walk tall, shoulders back.</p><p></p><p>2) Keep all valuables where they can't be easily grabbed - bags etc, wrap straps round your wrist. A bag can also be used to defend yourself with, if you have a good grip.</p><p></p><p>3) Listen, be alert, and even if you're scared try to ACT confident. Act as if you have a black belt in karate. Practice this often, and for every walk to your car in the dark, congratulate yourself on giving a good impression of a confident, scary woman.</p><p></p><p>4) No defensive weapon? Yes, you have. As you walk to your car, hold your keys with the sharp bits protruding between your fingers. In fact, before you leave safety, get your keys out, close your bag up again, wrap the strap around your wrist, put your keys in your hand with points protruding. Then step out, confidently. If you get attacked - go for his eyes with the keys.</p><p></p><p>5) An alternative to keys I recall from a self-defence book I read in my teens - carry one of those long-tailed combs in your bag; the ones with a metal spike as the tail (we used to use those to 'bouffe up' our hair). If you can't find your keys, grab your comb. But do it ahead - hold it in your hand as you walk.</p><p></p><p>I'm crippled and walk with crutches. It limits how I could defend myself. And yet - I've never even had anyone try to snatch my bag. It does happen - but to other people. I think it's because I've practiced exuding scariness. Plus, I am prepared to wallop any attacker with my aluminium crutches. Maybe they sense that.</p><p></p><p>Back in my teens, I read a lot of self defence books. One in particular, said that if you get grabbed from behind, you should lift up your foot and slam it back hard into your attacker's kneecap. I unfortunately had a good friend grab me in play - once - and nearly crippled him. I realised at the last split second that I wasn't being attacked. He was still limping for a week and my reaction was witnessed by the bloke I thought had attacked me. </p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 kept herself safe in her teens by terrifying the local lads. All done by her quiet tone of voice and motionless response. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. You are safe now, I am sure. But it's always wise to make sure everybody else can sense this about you too, in case anyone is thinking of trying something.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 116630, member: 1991"] WW, I have no doubt the experience was terrifying. I know I would have felt very threatened also. But in the cold light of day, I think he is done. He said what he wanted to say, he is a bully who threatens rather than the sort who says nothing and then lies in wait. Most of the people who issue threats never carry them out. The very act of saying threatening things, especially in a situation like this where it is acute, rather than chronic, is often enough for them to feel more satisfied, having spread their little brand of poison around. "I've succeeded in making you feel bad, now I'm satisfied and can move on." This was an acute situation. He was on the carpet, getting fired. You were not even the focus, you were just in the room. He will never be in that room again, professionally speaking. He is gone. If, on the other hand, you were dealing with a neighbour whose response to you politely asking him to turn down the stereo resulted with him threatening you with a gun, THAT is a chronic situation. Your chance of a repeat encounter is much higher. And even there, you could avoid a repeat encounter by putting up with the loud stereo, or simply calling the police to enforce the peace. Back to your workplace - this creep got fired, probably with good cause (judging from his response). Chances are he antagonises enough people in his day to day life, that you are only the latest in a long line of people he has threatened THIS WEEK. He probably utters threats as easily (and thoughtlessly) as breathing. He's probably already forgotten, moved on to find another job and is probably already saying things like, "I'm so glad I'm out of there, I'm much better off in this new job," even if he is not. He sounds like someone who re-writes the story constantly, to make himself look good in his own eyes and to make himself seem like the big tough man. In reality, blokes like that are wimps. Big talk, no action because "it's beneath them" (and they're really cowards). If he seriously intended harm, he wouldn't have made his threats so obvious (or maybe even at all). You were scared at the time - I would have been too. But I seriously believe he is gone. The police know of the threats. If he has half a brain (which is maybe in question) then he would know the police would have been told. So if ANYTHING happens to you or the ASM, even if it's a total accident, the police will be knocking on his door before anyone else's. A bloke like him, who makes threats so readily - he would know this, because undoubtedly the police have knocked on his door before. He's gone, I'm sure of it. But if you are nervous and can't find pepper spray, there are other precautions you can take. We are not allowed to carry weapons in Sydney, I think pepper spray is banned here, so here is what I do: 1) Walk tall, shoulders back. 2) Keep all valuables where they can't be easily grabbed - bags etc, wrap straps round your wrist. A bag can also be used to defend yourself with, if you have a good grip. 3) Listen, be alert, and even if you're scared try to ACT confident. Act as if you have a black belt in karate. Practice this often, and for every walk to your car in the dark, congratulate yourself on giving a good impression of a confident, scary woman. 4) No defensive weapon? Yes, you have. As you walk to your car, hold your keys with the sharp bits protruding between your fingers. In fact, before you leave safety, get your keys out, close your bag up again, wrap the strap around your wrist, put your keys in your hand with points protruding. Then step out, confidently. If you get attacked - go for his eyes with the keys. 5) An alternative to keys I recall from a self-defence book I read in my teens - carry one of those long-tailed combs in your bag; the ones with a metal spike as the tail (we used to use those to 'bouffe up' our hair). If you can't find your keys, grab your comb. But do it ahead - hold it in your hand as you walk. I'm crippled and walk with crutches. It limits how I could defend myself. And yet - I've never even had anyone try to snatch my bag. It does happen - but to other people. I think it's because I've practiced exuding scariness. Plus, I am prepared to wallop any attacker with my aluminium crutches. Maybe they sense that. Back in my teens, I read a lot of self defence books. One in particular, said that if you get grabbed from behind, you should lift up your foot and slam it back hard into your attacker's kneecap. I unfortunately had a good friend grab me in play - once - and nearly crippled him. I realised at the last split second that I wasn't being attacked. He was still limping for a week and my reaction was witnessed by the bloke I thought had attacked me. easy child 2/difficult child 2 kept herself safe in her teens by terrifying the local lads. All done by her quiet tone of voice and motionless response. Hang in there. You are safe now, I am sure. But it's always wise to make sure everybody else can sense this about you too, in case anyone is thinking of trying something. Marg [/QUOTE]
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worried about threat co-worker made to me
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