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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 428663" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>It's easy to say "stop blaming yourself", and of course it is understandable that you do, but really others bear far more responsibility than you do, in my opinion. Starting with doctors... I do not know anything about these medications but it does seem to me, from the outside and not knowing the position in any detail, that doctors are far too quick to prescibe serious medications without sufficient knowledge or exploration first. And they do it because others are doing it, because it's a cultural trend... There is a lot of pressure, it seems to me, to put children on medications and OF COURSE you would do that, thinking to help your son. It also does help a lot of people, and there are people here on the forum who say that it has given their children a chance of school life and social life. So each case is different and each case has to be looked at individually. </p><p>I am someone who is very worried about the side effects of these medications and plans not to put my son on them if that can be avoided. But then at the moment his behaviour is not SO difficult, either at school or home, that not putting him on medications becomes a serious dilemma... for the moment. I do not know what other options exist for your son and how bad things get with him. I know Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) can have serious effects. So the question is simply not an easy one. There are people who believe there are always alternatives to medications - but they may not have to deal with the day to day reality of living with a seriously unmanageable child. I would like to believe there are usually, if not always, other solutions but I condemn no-one for the choices they make. What I would condemn is making choices without exploring and reflecting first. I am sure you do this and have done this - you sound a very caring and loving parent.</p><p>What is your next step?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 428663, member: 11227"] It's easy to say "stop blaming yourself", and of course it is understandable that you do, but really others bear far more responsibility than you do, in my opinion. Starting with doctors... I do not know anything about these medications but it does seem to me, from the outside and not knowing the position in any detail, that doctors are far too quick to prescibe serious medications without sufficient knowledge or exploration first. And they do it because others are doing it, because it's a cultural trend... There is a lot of pressure, it seems to me, to put children on medications and OF COURSE you would do that, thinking to help your son. It also does help a lot of people, and there are people here on the forum who say that it has given their children a chance of school life and social life. So each case is different and each case has to be looked at individually. I am someone who is very worried about the side effects of these medications and plans not to put my son on them if that can be avoided. But then at the moment his behaviour is not SO difficult, either at school or home, that not putting him on medications becomes a serious dilemma... for the moment. I do not know what other options exist for your son and how bad things get with him. I know Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) can have serious effects. So the question is simply not an easy one. There are people who believe there are always alternatives to medications - but they may not have to deal with the day to day reality of living with a seriously unmanageable child. I would like to believe there are usually, if not always, other solutions but I condemn no-one for the choices they make. What I would condemn is making choices without exploring and reflecting first. I am sure you do this and have done this - you sound a very caring and loving parent. What is your next step? [/QUOTE]
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