Ouch.
I'm so sorry Cedar. You made an honest mistake and tried to rectify it and your son takes it as yet another opportunity to beat you up about it.
He knows just when and where to place the sharp knife. In the exact place you are wounded, in that soft place where you take all the responsibility, where you believe you are already wrong, where your own belief in your inadequacy lives. What a callous ass.
Has he sent birthday and anniversary and mothers day gifts to you? Does anyone hold HIM accountable for that?
How interesting that he chose Fathers Day to respond. Really? What a weeny. He should be the one who feels crummy because of how much of a jerk he has turned out to be.
So he aimed his arrow and hit both you AND husband.
("You must be so proud............" )
I know it hurts your heart and husband's heart too, however, my SO gave me a different perspective at various times when my difficult child acted in the usual ways............he said, "she makes it easy to let go." Their responses are so mean spirited, callous, manipulative and at times downright cruel, and it takes us so long to be able to identify that truth, that perhaps instead of using this information to wound yourself further, you can use it as yet another example of your son's true nature. Because of HIS anger at you, HE is the one ripping his kids off of the opportunity to receive from you. HE has made that choice, not you. He makes it easy to let go.
Don't allow yourself to go down the road of self cruelty and wishing for something that doesn't exist.
When you return to your other home you can find the addresses and you can fix it in some fun manner for the kids. For now, you've done EVERYTHING you can, you can't do anything else, so let it go. LET IT GO. That is our mantra around here isn't it? Let go of the illusions of Fathers Day, the illusions of what family is supposed to look like. It looks like this. It looks like what we have. That is the truth. Accept that today, just for today, and you and husband find a new way to celebrate Fathers Day. Go seize this day Cedar, grab it with husband and go do something altogether different.
You have the power to change how you perceive this.
I'm sorry that your son has used his anger to harm you. Don't let it in.
Sending you big hugs and lots of warm thoughts for you and husband to have a wonderful day, no matter what your kids are up to.
