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wow she's home and it's scary
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 415196" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Jena, Whoever is housing her (the parents) may not even be aware of what is going on. In defense of them, at the age of 17, I never called any parent to make sure they knew their daughter was over here unless I picked up on a red flag. If I had a inkling their parents may not know they were here or knew there was trouble abrewing, then I would call. By that age, I didn't know the parents of many of her friends so it would have been hard to contact them. But, if she is like my Diva and many other kids, she may not be displaying the attitude/behaviours to other adults (her friend's parents). They may just see the good kid side of her.</p><p> </p><p>Even at 14, I am thinking difficult child's friends should be able to know where their parent's expect them to be and then get themselves there. I had a situation with H on Monday when I dropped him and difficult child and E off at E's house. Not uncommon at all but a conversation in the vehicle on the way to E's house had a red flag flying. E said his mom was expecting H (E is a great kid - I think he misunderstood something or he would not have said this) and H said no, he was expected home but his mom said he could go to E's if he called her. Thing is he left his cell phone at home so I told him to call his mom ASAP once at E's. I then called her and found out that H was not suppose to go to E's that night.</p><p> </p><p>I messaged H's mom that I did not want to interferre and was sorry I didn't call her before dropping him off. It is not my place to argue with where HE says his mom is o.k. with him being. He and his mom have got to find some trust in the now when he is allowed to go to E's and my home. He has to learn to ask his mom or make sure she knows where he is. As for now, she can (and does) call me when she doesn't hear from him but what will she do when the day comes that I don't know where he is? I told her that I would be happy to call her anytime I transported him anywhere but she said no, he is usually allowed to go to E's house on Mondays. (If it were difficult child, I would have taken her up on it for awhile just as a lesson that the kid blew the trust and has to be treated like a 6 year old when parents called each other over every little thing). I think of the teen years as practice years - yes, your mom may know where to look for you now, but you best get in the habit of letting her know instead of making her look!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 415196, member: 5096"] Jena, Whoever is housing her (the parents) may not even be aware of what is going on. In defense of them, at the age of 17, I never called any parent to make sure they knew their daughter was over here unless I picked up on a red flag. If I had a inkling their parents may not know they were here or knew there was trouble abrewing, then I would call. By that age, I didn't know the parents of many of her friends so it would have been hard to contact them. But, if she is like my Diva and many other kids, she may not be displaying the attitude/behaviours to other adults (her friend's parents). They may just see the good kid side of her. Even at 14, I am thinking difficult child's friends should be able to know where their parent's expect them to be and then get themselves there. I had a situation with H on Monday when I dropped him and difficult child and E off at E's house. Not uncommon at all but a conversation in the vehicle on the way to E's house had a red flag flying. E said his mom was expecting H (E is a great kid - I think he misunderstood something or he would not have said this) and H said no, he was expected home but his mom said he could go to E's if he called her. Thing is he left his cell phone at home so I told him to call his mom ASAP once at E's. I then called her and found out that H was not suppose to go to E's that night. I messaged H's mom that I did not want to interferre and was sorry I didn't call her before dropping him off. It is not my place to argue with where HE says his mom is o.k. with him being. He and his mom have got to find some trust in the now when he is allowed to go to E's and my home. He has to learn to ask his mom or make sure she knows where he is. As for now, she can (and does) call me when she doesn't hear from him but what will she do when the day comes that I don't know where he is? I told her that I would be happy to call her anytime I transported him anywhere but she said no, he is usually allowed to go to E's house on Mondays. (If it were difficult child, I would have taken her up on it for awhile just as a lesson that the kid blew the trust and has to be treated like a 6 year old when parents called each other over every little thing). I think of the teen years as practice years - yes, your mom may know where to look for you now, but you best get in the habit of letting her know instead of making her look! [/QUOTE]
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