This thread has gone in some interesting ways. I really like to hear the different points of view and see different ways of looking at a situation.
I think back to my own son, 25yo, who was not a difficult child, and was/is extremely intelligent and not an Aspie (as far as I know).
He had some of the same attitudes as the young men described on this thread. Didn't care about grades especially, hated what he considered busy work, felt doing work that he already understood was a waste of time, didn't always turn in work. Excelled at things he was interested in. If he wasn't interested he didn't put in a whole lot of effort, didn't like to have to 'show his work' i.e. math problems that he could do in his head.
Homeschooling and early college classes in things he was interested in was our solution, at least partially, and school of hard knocks took care of the rest.
My girls were the type who worried about grades tremendously, had to get all A's, turned in every single assignment ever given, loved busy work (easy A's), put 100% effort into everything.
I always thought it was a matter of different personality types, maybe even gender differences. Son often had to learn from his own mistakes.