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Family of Origin
You fill the bill. Then, who am I?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 681491" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Serenity, I am not offended. And it is not even that we think differently, at least in this: I was a good-enough mother and I would benefit by separating my own self-esteem from outcomes that I do not control. That my son suffered blows from life that did not come from me, and I did everything within my power to remediate them, and to provide the possibility of a good outcome.</p><p></p><p>We have seen here on the board that children, even those who have not experienced what my son did, do not always thrive even when the conditions to do so, were present.</p><p></p><p>It is that we think differently about the remedy, you and I, the course to find self-acceptance and peace. I think we think differently about the nature of change and what propels it. This is an honest difference: Note the radical differences in psychotherapeutic approaches, dynamic, somatic, existential, expressive, cognitive, behavior to name a few.</p><p></p><p>I believe that exploring what I think and feel, and coming to understand it will free me. That was the basis of my participating in FOO, and it continues to motivate me. I believe one has to recognize false beliefs before one can come to have new ones. This process requires work and working through. That is what I do here.</p><p></p><p>CD is a work place for me. I do not post to be right. I post to see right.</p><p></p><p>You, I think, may believe my posting is wrong-headed and possibly even self-indulgent. You see what I write as an expression of wrong thinking, which if corrected, would free me.</p><p></p><p>I require a process to do this. CD is my process.</p><p></p><p>I see my wrong thinking as a means of self-understanding. Not just what to correct, but to know who I am, have been, and want to be. I free myself as I acknowledge my wrong-headedness. My wrongness illuminates who I am as much or more than my rightness.</p><p></p><p>I believe the source of my own power comes from my self-deceptions <em>that are uncovered, illuminated and seen</em>. I believe I am not different than other parents here. By understanding myself in my mistakes, errors, and perceived failings I come to understand other mothers as well. And I believe I come to know more about life itself. My own, especially.</p><p></p><p>I believe this practice has been helpful and constructive.</p><p></p><p>I believe more is learned by errors than by rightness or success. I understand you do not want me to feel bad or to torture myself. For that I am grateful. I am not offended by your caring. I am grateful for it.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I will soon come to a place where I can let it all go. I am not there yet.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 681491, member: 18958"] Serenity, I am not offended. And it is not even that we think differently, at least in this: I was a good-enough mother and I would benefit by separating my own self-esteem from outcomes that I do not control. That my son suffered blows from life that did not come from me, and I did everything within my power to remediate them, and to provide the possibility of a good outcome. We have seen here on the board that children, even those who have not experienced what my son did, do not always thrive even when the conditions to do so, were present. It is that we think differently about the remedy, you and I, the course to find self-acceptance and peace. I think we think differently about the nature of change and what propels it. This is an honest difference: Note the radical differences in psychotherapeutic approaches, dynamic, somatic, existential, expressive, cognitive, behavior to name a few. I believe that exploring what I think and feel, and coming to understand it will free me. That was the basis of my participating in FOO, and it continues to motivate me. I believe one has to recognize false beliefs before one can come to have new ones. This process requires work and working through. That is what I do here. CD is a work place for me. I do not post to be right. I post to see right. You, I think, may believe my posting is wrong-headed and possibly even self-indulgent. You see what I write as an expression of wrong thinking, which if corrected, would free me. I require a process to do this. CD is my process. I see my wrong thinking as a means of self-understanding. Not just what to correct, but to know who I am, have been, and want to be. I free myself as I acknowledge my wrong-headedness. My wrongness illuminates who I am as much or more than my rightness. I believe the source of my own power comes from my self-deceptions [I]that are uncovered, illuminated and seen[/I]. I believe I am not different than other parents here. By understanding myself in my mistakes, errors, and perceived failings I come to understand other mothers as well. And I believe I come to know more about life itself. My own, especially. I believe this practice has been helpful and constructive. I believe more is learned by errors than by rightness or success. I understand you do not want me to feel bad or to torture myself. For that I am grateful. I am not offended by your caring. I am grateful for it. Maybe I will soon come to a place where I can let it all go. I am not there yet. COPA [/QUOTE]
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