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Parent Emeritus
You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 658496" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>SS, those jabs to the heart are difficult, I'm sorry you were impacted by your sons behaviors once again.</p><p></p><p>I think Jabber and Tanya are right, a simple 'I love you too' is appropriate. And, then enforce your boundaries. As you well know, there is a grand likelihood that this is the beginning of another manipulation, and for the most part, past behavior dictates future behavior, so sharpen your tools, get your responses ready if he indeed does show up. </p><p></p><p>He has made his bed with you, I do remember all of the nastiness he and his girlfriend brought to your door. If he apologized or in any way showed remorse, it might be a tiny opening, but the "I love you Mom" is a line most of us have heard........right before a huge manipulation begins. </p><p></p><p>Arm yourself with what you will say and do if and when he does show up or begin a new tactic.........to my memory he has not shown any reason for you to trust him at all, so don't.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, go on with your life, he is not a part of it........if/when he shows up, trust yourselves to do the appropriate thing to protect yourselves. It may be a good time to hit the road tomorrow and go have lunch in a distant town........get out of Dodge and go enjoy yourselves.......whatever is going to happen is going to happen whether you worry about it or not.......stay right here in the present moment.....he's ruined enough of your moments.....don't let him take any more......</p><p></p><p>Sending you big hugs SS. I know how creepy this all does get sometimes.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 658496, member: 13542"] SS, those jabs to the heart are difficult, I'm sorry you were impacted by your sons behaviors once again. I think Jabber and Tanya are right, a simple 'I love you too' is appropriate. And, then enforce your boundaries. As you well know, there is a grand likelihood that this is the beginning of another manipulation, and for the most part, past behavior dictates future behavior, so sharpen your tools, get your responses ready if he indeed does show up. He has made his bed with you, I do remember all of the nastiness he and his girlfriend brought to your door. If he apologized or in any way showed remorse, it might be a tiny opening, but the "I love you Mom" is a line most of us have heard........right before a huge manipulation begins. Arm yourself with what you will say and do if and when he does show up or begin a new tactic.........to my memory he has not shown any reason for you to trust him at all, so don't. In the meantime, go on with your life, he is not a part of it........if/when he shows up, trust yourselves to do the appropriate thing to protect yourselves. It may be a good time to hit the road tomorrow and go have lunch in a distant town........get out of Dodge and go enjoy yourselves.......whatever is going to happen is going to happen whether you worry about it or not.......stay right here in the present moment.....he's ruined enough of your moments.....don't let him take any more...... Sending you big hugs SS. I know how creepy this all does get sometimes......... [/QUOTE]
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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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