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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 658735" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi JulieAnn, I agree with SWOT, he's punishing you.</p><p>As for how I handle it, it's just something that takes time. Time to fine tune your coping skills. One thing to remember about worrying is that it accomplishes nothing other than making you feel sick. Detaching from our Difficult Child is the only way we can survive them. We can no longer allow them to hold our emotions hostage. They don't want us to move on, they count on us staying stuck and worrying about them because if we stay in that "state of mind" they can control us, they can use our soft spots against us to get us to do what they want which is usually giving them money.</p><p>I grew so tired of the mind games my son would play with me. I saw my life slipping away. I was not liv. ing my life for myself, I was just staying stuck in the muck and chaos of my son's life. I made the choice to take my life back and I also made the choice to let my son go.</p><p></p><p>You will find over time that months can go by where you hear nothing from your Difficult Child then they'll turn up usually in crisis mode, at least that's how it's been with my son. It's been a few months since I have hear from my son. I do wonder about him but I don't worry about him. I know that it's a real possibility that I may never hear from him again, this is something I have come to accept. I also know that he could die and I would never know. I suppose on some level I have already mourned him. I know I have mourned the son he used to be and the son I had hoped he would grow into.</p><p></p><p>Bottom line, for me it comes down to acceptance. Accepting that I have no control over his choices. Accepting that he is going to live the life he wants to live no matter how much I dislike it. Accepting that I have my own life to live.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there JulieAnn. Work on accepting what you cannot change.</p><p></p><p>Keep a copy of the serenity prayer:</p><p></p><p>God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,</p><p>The courage to change the things I can,</p><p>and the wisdom to know the difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 658735, member: 18516"] Hi JulieAnn, I agree with SWOT, he's punishing you. As for how I handle it, it's just something that takes time. Time to fine tune your coping skills. One thing to remember about worrying is that it accomplishes nothing other than making you feel sick. Detaching from our Difficult Child is the only way we can survive them. We can no longer allow them to hold our emotions hostage. They don't want us to move on, they count on us staying stuck and worrying about them because if we stay in that "state of mind" they can control us, they can use our soft spots against us to get us to do what they want which is usually giving them money. I grew so tired of the mind games my son would play with me. I saw my life slipping away. I was not liv. ing my life for myself, I was just staying stuck in the muck and chaos of my son's life. I made the choice to take my life back and I also made the choice to let my son go. You will find over time that months can go by where you hear nothing from your Difficult Child then they'll turn up usually in crisis mode, at least that's how it's been with my son. It's been a few months since I have hear from my son. I do wonder about him but I don't worry about him. I know that it's a real possibility that I may never hear from him again, this is something I have come to accept. I also know that he could die and I would never know. I suppose on some level I have already mourned him. I know I have mourned the son he used to be and the son I had hoped he would grow into. Bottom line, for me it comes down to acceptance. Accepting that I have no control over his choices. Accepting that he is going to live the life he wants to live no matter how much I dislike it. Accepting that I have my own life to live. Hang in there JulieAnn. Work on accepting what you cannot change. Keep a copy of the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. [/QUOTE]
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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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