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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 658756" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>SS, I'm just coming to this update this morning. I hate those middle of the night phone calls, missed calls, voice mails and texts. That is why I keep my phone in the kitchen charging. WHATEVER happens in this world, I don't need to know it until 5 a.m. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes...the circular thinking and what you want to say and what he says and then what you would say...agh. Here is my remedy for that: Sit at your computer and type as fast as you can every single bit of it. Just keep going until you are spent. Cry. Moan. Take a nap. This is absolutely one of the most cathartic tools I have discovered. I just did it this morning about my son's wedding. Ugh. Lots of ugliness around this wedding, and I'm not responding. Wasn't sure what I would do, so I have waited since receiving a very direct (blunt, mean, uncaring, disrespectful) email on Saturday. Could not see through the FOG that advanced. Was hurting badly. So I waited. And I cried, and I processed with trusted friends and family and husband. Still is hurting. But I am slowly getting some clarity about my response and silence is my first line of defense/offense now. Waiting. Just taking it all in, feeling it (it won't kill us even though it really hurts), not being mean right back (the way I really want to). </p><p></p><p>Ugh, this maturity stuff is hard. Lol. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes of course it does. Your love never stops. We just want them to be happy and healthy. Is that too much to ask? Well....Feel your hurting heart but work hard to disconnect that from any actions you take. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>When you are ready to talk, if you become ready to talk, this is a good thing to say. He doesn't need lists of treatment centers, places to go, shelters, bus lines, etc. Not right now. He KNOWS he can get all of that. </p><p></p><p>And by his own admission, he is back on drugs. You know and I know that when that is ongoing, there is no reasoning or talking to them. It's a fool's errand. Don't even think about putting yourself through that.</p><p></p><p>Silence. Waiting. Feeling your feelings. Writing it all down. Doing nice things for yourself. Talking it all out with trusted friends who will just listen or will give you feedback, whatever you need at that moment.</p><p></p><p>This is the path to detachment with love. Warm hugs for you. We are here for you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 658756, member: 17542"] SS, I'm just coming to this update this morning. I hate those middle of the night phone calls, missed calls, voice mails and texts. That is why I keep my phone in the kitchen charging. WHATEVER happens in this world, I don't need to know it until 5 a.m. Yes...the circular thinking and what you want to say and what he says and then what you would say...agh. Here is my remedy for that: Sit at your computer and type as fast as you can every single bit of it. Just keep going until you are spent. Cry. Moan. Take a nap. This is absolutely one of the most cathartic tools I have discovered. I just did it this morning about my son's wedding. Ugh. Lots of ugliness around this wedding, and I'm not responding. Wasn't sure what I would do, so I have waited since receiving a very direct (blunt, mean, uncaring, disrespectful) email on Saturday. Could not see through the FOG that advanced. Was hurting badly. So I waited. And I cried, and I processed with trusted friends and family and husband. Still is hurting. But I am slowly getting some clarity about my response and silence is my first line of defense/offense now. Waiting. Just taking it all in, feeling it (it won't kill us even though it really hurts), not being mean right back (the way I really want to). Ugh, this maturity stuff is hard. Lol. Yes of course it does. Your love never stops. We just want them to be happy and healthy. Is that too much to ask? Well....Feel your hurting heart but work hard to disconnect that from any actions you take. When you are ready to talk, if you become ready to talk, this is a good thing to say. He doesn't need lists of treatment centers, places to go, shelters, bus lines, etc. Not right now. He KNOWS he can get all of that. And by his own admission, he is back on drugs. You know and I know that when that is ongoing, there is no reasoning or talking to them. It's a fool's errand. Don't even think about putting yourself through that. Silence. Waiting. Feeling your feelings. Writing it all down. Doing nice things for yourself. Talking it all out with trusted friends who will just listen or will give you feedback, whatever you need at that moment. This is the path to detachment with love. Warm hugs for you. We are here for you! [/QUOTE]
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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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