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You know what's the worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 640151" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>Yes there is a lot of good stuff in this thread. Gold. Treasure. I think it will not only help me, but for the thousands of parents who come across this thread right here now and in the future. This is the best advice ever. There is nothing like it out there on the web for parents who feel the way I do right now. It has helped me greatly, I can't even possibly respond to the ions of good advice here even though I really want to. Instead, I will do like a I normally do, save it, in my book of threads , especially for when I need it again to remind myself. These emotions of guilt is what keeps me and a lot of other people co-dependent and unable to detach from difficult children. The guilt is the biggest hurdle more so than anything else, so it is important that we battle it for each other. There is no such thing as the perfect mother or father, and it is up there with unicorns and fairy's. I know one thing, I did try my very best, I know this without a doubt in my mind. I was just more or less saying that my difficult child , even though she knows better , the anger will come out onto me when it boils over because I am the mother, I have to accept I can't change that even though I want a better relationship with her. <strong><em><u>But</u></em></strong> I can change how I feel, such as someone who said earlier which was brilliant: how my difficult child treats me is not who I really am. I can refuse being the punching bag for anger any longer because it helps no one. I also can change it by separating myself from her until she has time to work and just heal her own issues. I also can change it by separating myself from her until she has time to work on her own issues and then realize this:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is my greatest hope for her to realize this ^ one day in the future. It's more than I can ask for. Until then, detachment.</p><p></p><p>And your right MWM. My family is toxic and dysfunctional. However, it was better than her being on the streets or being a gypsy going from friends house to friends house. My brother loves my daughter and even though he has major problems, he wouldn't harm her in any way. He is very protective of her and sure as hell beats being on the streets with no home which was where she was going. It's like picking between the lesser of two evils. But I totally get what you're saying, I just don't really have much choice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 640151, member: 18233"] Yes there is a lot of good stuff in this thread. Gold. Treasure. I think it will not only help me, but for the thousands of parents who come across this thread right here now and in the future. This is the best advice ever. There is nothing like it out there on the web for parents who feel the way I do right now. It has helped me greatly, I can't even possibly respond to the ions of good advice here even though I really want to. Instead, I will do like a I normally do, save it, in my book of threads , especially for when I need it again to remind myself. These emotions of guilt is what keeps me and a lot of other people co-dependent and unable to detach from difficult children. The guilt is the biggest hurdle more so than anything else, so it is important that we battle it for each other. There is no such thing as the perfect mother or father, and it is up there with unicorns and fairy's. I know one thing, I did try my very best, I know this without a doubt in my mind. I was just more or less saying that my difficult child , even though she knows better , the anger will come out onto me when it boils over because I am the mother, I have to accept I can't change that even though I want a better relationship with her. [B][I][U]But[/U][/I][/B] I can change how I feel, such as someone who said earlier which was brilliant: how my difficult child treats me is not who I really am. I can refuse being the punching bag for anger any longer because it helps no one. I also can change it by separating myself from her until she has time to work and just heal her own issues. I also can change it by separating myself from her until she has time to work on her own issues and then realize this: This is my greatest hope for her to realize this ^ one day in the future. It's more than I can ask for. Until then, detachment. And your right MWM. My family is toxic and dysfunctional. However, it was better than her being on the streets or being a gypsy going from friends house to friends house. My brother loves my daughter and even though he has major problems, he wouldn't harm her in any way. He is very protective of her and sure as hell beats being on the streets with no home which was where she was going. It's like picking between the lesser of two evils. But I totally get what you're saying, I just don't really have much choice. [/QUOTE]
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