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Parent Emeritus
young adults who are incarcerated - looking for support
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 295669" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I'm sending an understanding hug your way. Our local newspapers literally wrote articles about juvenile charges which included name, address <strong>and </strong>pictures. They never ran articles explaining that charges were bogus&dropped...when they were. If you were found with a roach clip you were</p><p>featured as if you had assaulted a group of children. It was humiliating and painful and tainted the local teens for life as "criminals". That policy was changed the year easy child/difficult child turned 18. They only picture juvies now if they are charged with serious criminal acts and are charged as adults.</p><p> </p><p>At 18 and three months before his brain injury, our kid was charged with a felony. He had a few Rx pills in the backseat of his unoccupied car. He was not selling. He was not in the car. He gave permission to search the car because he knew "he" didn't have anythng in it. He is a Felon for life and is having 5 years of probation because a friend used his car.</p><p> </p><p>I am sharing this because whether your son's offense was wretched or was simply a mistake...your life in your community is never going to be the same as it was prior to the offense. It is painful for the family. Most friends and acquaintances will just ignore the issue to avoid embarrassing you. "The system" will look at you as a conspirator, an incompetent or an object for pity. The whole scene is ugly.</p><p> </p><p>My primary comfort has been from repeating the Serenity Prayer on a daily basis. Like you, I'm sure, I have accepted the things I can not change, and I have found courage to change the things I could. The wisdom to know the difference is tricky. Trust your instincts and know that many other nice people are sending support and prayers your way. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 295669, member: 35"] I'm sending an understanding hug your way. Our local newspapers literally wrote articles about juvenile charges which included name, address [B]and [/B]pictures. They never ran articles explaining that charges were bogus&dropped...when they were. If you were found with a roach clip you were featured as if you had assaulted a group of children. It was humiliating and painful and tainted the local teens for life as "criminals". That policy was changed the year easy child/difficult child turned 18. They only picture juvies now if they are charged with serious criminal acts and are charged as adults. At 18 and three months before his brain injury, our kid was charged with a felony. He had a few Rx pills in the backseat of his unoccupied car. He was not selling. He was not in the car. He gave permission to search the car because he knew "he" didn't have anythng in it. He is a Felon for life and is having 5 years of probation because a friend used his car. I am sharing this because whether your son's offense was wretched or was simply a mistake...your life in your community is never going to be the same as it was prior to the offense. It is painful for the family. Most friends and acquaintances will just ignore the issue to avoid embarrassing you. "The system" will look at you as a conspirator, an incompetent or an object for pity. The whole scene is ugly. My primary comfort has been from repeating the Serenity Prayer on a daily basis. Like you, I'm sure, I have accepted the things I can not change, and I have found courage to change the things I could. The wisdom to know the difference is tricky. Trust your instincts and know that many other nice people are sending support and prayers your way. DDD [/QUOTE]
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young adults who are incarcerated - looking for support
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